Why is Forex trading so addictive even after losing so ...

The Last Time I Write Another One of These Cringey Things (I hope...): Part 2892, The Worst Sequel and Wall of Text, ever

Hiya, folks...! It's another wall of text from some random person who could be doing just about anything else except for this... Who's ready for some paragraphs from some stranger?
I know you'd rather be doing anything else, or maybe not haha.. But it does mean a lot if you do take the time to try to attempt to accurately type me... I will DEFINITELY NOT overthink it this time, and take your consideration FULLY to heart, and stop overthinking my MBTI type and live happily ever after! (Hahahahhaha...! ... ...)
...
Ok, let's begin!

I am a freshly 23 year old male that likes to do average Redditor bullcrap. Video games, memes, music, making my finger go up and down endlessly while staring at a glass LED screen with pixels on it while feeling like I've accomplished nothing. Just average stuff, I suppose. I'm not really that interesting tbh...
I work at home and I am just "vibing", as the kids say. I have some long term projects planned, but I'm at least trying to rest up from a really shitty 7 years that I've had back to back to back so... Nothing really insightful to write here haha..
Likely several... I had a very traumatic childhood that I constantly gaslight myself about like saying things like "it wasn't that bad, people have it worse" and much worse..
I disassociate from reality every 2.5 seconds, can't focus, have terrible insomnia, EXTREMELY low energy, mood swings, brain fog, random body pains 24/7, seventeen billion repressed emotions which don't help out anything else that I'm dealing with, memory problems, and I need caffeine to do the bare minimum of just about anything on most days, but some of that could be average American problems.
I've suspected I have some form as Aspergers, and probably A TON of mental illnesses, such as OCD, anxiety, depression, and maybe a personality disorder.
My upbringing is a very mixed bag overall. I would not say I had a typically "tragic" childhood (there goes me gaslighting myself LOL) because people have DEFINITELY had it worse than me. But I can't sit here and pretend everything I went through was "normal". To attempt to sum it up, I basically was a "gifted" kid who got good grades throughout school and maintained my image of being this perfect kid, but meanwhile in the shadows, I was just slowly dying inside and suffering from a lot of imposter syndrome (amongst other things), which I'd definitely would say is warranted because I was NOT cut out for anything in school and it showed. I basically faked my way through school, got burnt out EARLY but got mega burnt out by senior year, and basically started college with no plan but somehow still managed to graduate (barely) and just kinda end up where I am now.
As far as a religious upbringing is concerned, I definitely was heavily influenced by religion, in kind of a negative way (?) Religion and I have a VERY weird relationship. On the one hand, I guess I love my religious friends, the lessons I learned from it, and a lot of what it says, but on the other hand I can not ever be a part of one mostly because of some of the dogmatic thinking and extremely toxic aspects to it that people use to justify hate and violence, and that's not really my type of thing. Also, I used to be really kinda "uppity" or arrogant about my religion, and now I DESPISE seeing the same type of "holier than thou" attitude projected. It kinda irks me on the inside.
Looking back, my response to it all was a major polarity shift from one extreme, to the other, and now where I'm at, I can look back at both sides and take the good from both. What do I mean by that? Welllllll... I mentioned earlier how I can't stand the "holier than thou" type, and for a while, that was DEFINITELY me. I was REALLY into it and took it extremely serious. I wouldn't mind being called "lame" or "whack" for having my faith, but looking back, it really made my quality of life kinda worse because I did have those strong beliefs and those off-putting characteristics that ostracized me from my peers and some potentially great experiences. I grew out of this and then became an EXTREME atheist, and for a while, it felt freeing. I felt better, smarter, edgier, and just superior, but looking back, I was just cynical and a total asshole, and arguably worse than the "holier than thou douche persona" that I had growing up. Luckily, my extreme atheism phase kinda fizzled out after some other trauma that happened around the time I became an atheist, and now, I can respect religion and be open to it, the ideas, and the amazing things that come from it while also maintaining my independent thinking but not to the point of being "hur dur be skeptical and point out everything wrong with religion all the time and be an asshole for no reason to religious people", if that makes any sense.
As far as my relationship to the structure in my life.. It's kind of a mixed bag. I had a pretty suffocated childhood, and I wasn't allowed certain things, but I guess it wasn't really all that bad in the end, or at least as it could've been. Most of this was just protection from a single parent who just didn't want anything to me and wanted me to be the best I could be in life, and I can respect this and look back on some parts of my structured childhood with fondness. But I most certainly got sick of it all by the time I was almost finished with highschool and in a lot of my college career. I basically used to be Mr. Structured. I had everything organized, I was neat, clean, got everything done at the right time, all the good stuff. But my brain just got tired of maintaining that forever, because I was already pretty much bad at life, but I was forced to just continue faking everything until something happened. So, by the end of high school, I lost all of those characteristics and became extremely sloppy. But I really do blame that on being physically tired. Being as organized as I was was TAXING because of how I overdid it. And now, thinking back, a lot of my structuredness was just on the surface level, and it was me trying to live up to everyone's standards and be just on top of everything, all the time, at a VERY unhealthy level, and that's probably what burnt me out too. I was addicted to the image of being this extremely put together person who has their shit together, while not having absolutely any shit to get together because I was withering away inside faster than fresh cotton candy from the fair melts in your mouth when your mouth is dry.
So, basically to sum it all up, I was a really clean cut religious smart "gifted" kid who wasn't really that, at all (AND I still don't know who I am now tbh haha) and I got tired of putting on that image all the time and turned to a dirty neckbeard atheist cynic for a short time, and then balanced out to whatever the fuck I am now because I wear 238234 different masks for each and every occasion, but THAT'S a different story haha.. I look back at both equally cringey and horrible chapters of my life with some scorn for myself and the times, but overall a much more understand a balanced perspective, because I had to go through it all to be me, and I'm just glad I can be here now. I'd say I definitely liked moments from those chapters, but overall, I'm much happier where I'm at now, which is not nearly as anally obsessive at the concept of being structured and not nearly as hyper-faithful to my religion or just a total asshole piece of shit atheist.
Right now, I'm sorta half employed. I do trade a bit on the Forex markets from signals groups and make enough to help out my family, and buy myself things here and there. I'm only really doing this because I went through a really shitty 7 years and I just need time to myself to kind of figure out, A LOT (clearly, as you can see by reading this HORRIBLE reddit post LOL) and rest. I just like the amount of freedom I have, and the money. I really like the idea of me having money saved and ready for any emergency, or family member or friend. I just need money to help out, stay safe, and to have time for myself to rest and take care of my health, or just pursue all the hobbies I missed out on, and I'm totally fine doing this the rest of my life. I don't really need or want that much in life, and I've always kind of been like this. I just want things to be peaceful and simple, so that my mind can be at ease and to just have free time for myself and a solution for any random chaotic emergency that happens because my mind always thinks of the worst that can happen by catastrophizing literally everything ever in the world. So my "career" is just a means to an end, like I'm sure a lot of people's careers are, unless you happen to have a passion or something, which is also amazing.
I do like writing, and I do wanna finish my book. I daydream a lot about it, and sometimes that's much more fun than actually writing it, but I do wanna finish it, but I also want it to be absolutely perfect and plothole free, and much more. I also wanna do YouTube and Twitch, but I feel like I have a lot to do as a person before I can freely be on those sites as a full person/"influencer" (I have so many mixed feelings about having a full time career as an influencer and having my life under that much pressure and scrutiny, BUTTTTT that's a different discussion...), so I might pursue those slowly or just freestyle it for fun. Those were my big dreams as a kid, but growing up, I see that writing a good book is damned hard (worth it, but hard) and being a Youtubesocial media star is a different world entirely, and I don't know how I feel about it. Like, I know I'd never be a Shane Dawson (YIKES) or Cryaotic (EWWWWW) but to even just disappoint one person, or have any sort of fuckup, or.. I don't know where I'm going with this... Basically, everything I suffer from now would only be amplified by having a YouTube career, my people pleasing tendencies, my over obsession with being perfect for others/myself, my workaholic tendencies, my being hard on myself, my fear of fucking anything up, and my imposter syndrome, those would all go BRRRRRR if I got any decent success on YouTube, so... *Phew*
That's my weird relationship with my life, and where I wanna go with it. To be honest, I'd be happy where I'm at right now, because at the end of the day, as long as I'm healthy and my family is happy, I'm ok, but a part of me also wants to live out those big dreams like having my book be a thing and animated, and being a good YouTuber, meme maker, Twitch streamer, all the above at the same time but my insecurities are like "BWAHAHAHAHA", so I'm just like: -_- But I'll figure it out! Hopefully..
Hm... Interesting question. Honestly, I'd never feel lonely on weekends by myself. Even when my friends are doing better things or aren't around, I don't really feel lonely I guess. Most of the time I have weekends alone, I feel pretty refreshed I suppose. It's kinda hard to tell haha.. This feels more like a circumstantial question where a myriad of things that are going on during the hypothetical week or just in my life/mind would determine this answer. Sometimes I just need that weekend to recharge and be alone and in my thoughts, or watching Netflix or being an absolute video game degenerate while dancing alone in my room and eating junk food. And sometimes, I like to be out and about with my friends, or just doing stuff. I probably lean more towards refreshed though, overall in a general sense.
BIG YIKES. I feel like a non human that doesn't belong on this planet or universe 99% of the time. I'm VERY slow, awkward movements, jittery, sometimes it looks like I was born yesterday with my grasp on physical reality, but yet, I do interestingly enough find myself loving to sweat and workout. I don't really have the coordination for any type of real sport, but I do like walks and I would run if I lived in an area where I could have a private or peaceful run where I would not be interrupted or seen by anyone because I look HIDEOUS running. I won't say I could never get into running at a professional or serious level, like with a group, but I'd just say it's more unlikely, for now. It sounds really exciting and interesting to be good at something physical, and I have always admired people who could do really sick stuff in sports, and I've always wanted to do it. But, right now, my uncoordinated ass will stick to just riding my exercise bike occasionally to burn off some restlessness and help me sleep betteperform better because working out makes my brain feel oddly stable lol. (I guess that's why I have such a fascination with physical stuff even though I am absolutely hopeless in most of it in the grand scheme of things)
I don't know if I'd say I'm curious, I guess I just think a lot. Like, I'll see something or watch something and daydream about it all the time, making new ideas out of it in my head or creating something new with it, trying to take it a new level or understand it at a different level, if that makes sense. Like, I'll sort of mentally digest something and that's what gives me inspiration, or ideas. I take in everything as I go and make up new shit with it later on (LOL this sounds like regular human being talk, because everyone does this).
I would say I have a lot of ideas on everything. I daydream about random chapters in my book a lot, like full on scenes. I'll daydream about a new melody for a song I've never heard with lyrics, and I'll try to make lyrics in my head and extend the melody. I'll daydream about my interactions in life, and just how I could have responded differently, or maybe what the other person is thinking, or feeling, or stuff like I wonder if they're okay. I'll daydream about new memes I can make, or me in an interview (OMG MEGA CRINGE ROFL). I pretty much daydream about... Everything. And then I'll daydream about what I'm daydreaming about, and why I'm doing it, and it gets too meta at that point. (this could very well just be maladaptive daydreaming and NOT indicative of any cognitive function ROFL)
Nope, nuh uh. I am too much of a people pleaser and pushover. I'd be dead or betrayed before my first week is over. The thing about me is that generally, I feel like I'd be a terrible leader because I can overthink a lot, all the time, and I'd be slow to action and prone to analysis paralysis and extreme people pleasing tendencies. I can also be conflict avoidant, and just want people to be happy, so I'd let a lot of stuff slide that I maybe should not. Now, don't get me wrong, I can be firm and tough when needed, but eventually that'd be too much for me to bear, and I couldn't be in a position like that for long. I genuinely hope I never become a leader, because even when I'm looking back to five minutes ago, I can say that "ew, that's cringe bro", so I clearly have a lot of work to do before I have something that serious on my plate.
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA. Funny question. But.. Yeahhhhhhh... No. I am NOT coordinated. I can barely walk in my kitchen without the fear of me accidentally turning wrong or moving incorrectly and just breaking something or knocking over everything in the kitchen. SOMETIMES I'm in James Bond mode, and it feels like I can do anything physical, and I feel aware of everything, my body, my surroundings, and I can actually move like a human being, but that usually doesn't last long. I can do just the bare minimum that an average human can do, but MUCH MUCH worse and at a greater cost of my energy, and my mental energy trying not to fuck anything up because I have literally just been sitting at times and barely move and knock over EVERYTHING somehow, because that's just how much my body was not meant to be on planet earth and I maybe should have been incarnated as a slug, idk.
I'd describe myself as artistic, even if I haven't drawn in years LOL. But let me explain... I do still have a love for it, I just haven't really been able to practice. In general, my art is just aiming for whatever is in my brain, and I don't have a solid style. I'm just going for whatever I'm going for in the moment. I prefer a mix of realism with some "quirks", if that makes sense. While I haven't drawn in a while, this is how I'd imagine I'd want my art to look nowadays. Pretty realistic with perfect everything, perfect features, perfect environment or whatever I'm illustrating or going for (perfect features on a person, all the hair strands drawn individually, etc), with a mix of my own little "spice", if that makes sense. Back in the day, my art was just trying to copy classic anime, and while I have no problem with that style, I just wanna kinda make my own style, even if that is hard to verbalize lmao.
Alright guys.. I would write more, but I'm sleepy and some of this is getting dumb/boring (as if it wasn't already LOL). I'm glad you made it this far, and thank you for reading and putting up with this actual garbage fire of a post. Please take care of yourselves during these crazy weird times, and I hope you are doing well. I look forward to reading you guys responses (if I get any LOL).
Stay amazing, and stay healthy :3
submitted by big_throwaway___ to MbtiTypeMe [link] [comments]

HELP my husband is changing drastically

My husband is changing, and not in a good way. I met him when i was an addict, he was in the military, straight edge, never done drugs before and helped me to pull myself out of the hole of addiction. He has always had a level head and focused on financial stability. Four years later he is deciding to get out of the military, live on disability and unemployment, go to school (just to get a check refunded from the GI bill) UNTIL he can master forex trading. Which to me, is essentially gambling. He has now just bought shroom spores to grow magic mushrooms at home. Having never done drugs i figured he was just curious and i personally loved LSD and thought it could be good for anyone. I only did it once. So i didn’t think much of it. Until today he decided to tell me he’s going to start microdosing everyday to “unlock parts of his brain” so he can be a millionaire. He still has not even tried the drug. Although i believe there may be potential medicinal properties for this drug, i am worried because he has never acted in this way, i am worried i should bring mental health into this as I’m Bipolar and it seems like he’s having a manic episode with grandeur traits. I told him “So what you’re telling me is, you want to live of disability and government assistance, take drugs to unlock parts of your brain so you can be a day trading millionaire? Listen to how that sounds, it sounds crazy” and his response was “all millionaires sounded crazy” although i want to support his dream, i can’t help but he a little concerned. I know for me when i started drugs it went right down the hole to intense drugs and almost couldn’t get out. Should I bring up mental health? Should i not even do anything? I want to protect him from a world that I’ve lived, even though he’s a grown man, i feel like i am either letting him live his dream or condemning him to a life of poverty and drug addiction.
submitted by icantpostthisontwitt to mentalhealth [link] [comments]

Does Man Really Findeth A Wife?

Stats: 5’7, 156 lbs, 14-15% body fat and was lifting 2-4 days a week at the gym
Sidebar: Read RPC
Finances: Making more money I’ve made working being currently unemployed ironically...I was working for a company that the government shut down lol. Living at home and trading forex until I can do that full-time.
Spiritual: about 3 weeks in of seriously dedicating my life to reading the Bible daily, watching a sermon daily, praying and meditating daily, and fully believing that God will provide.
—————————————
With that out of the way, I’ve probably been red pill for about 2 years now. Dating apps suck (especially Christian Mingle LOL) and it almost seems impossible to meet a girl that actually believes in God, practices, and has goals for herself and her faith anywhere besides church. I have 92 matches on Tinder but I might as well have no matches at that point honestly.
When most girls I’ve even given time of day are really REALLY into me, they get turned off at the thought of me waiting to have sex, and I truly think it’s because most of them can only offer sex or are used to a man only wanting sex and not THEM as a human being.
Ideally, I just want a future wife that doesn’t take life too serious. Doesn’t enjoy being lazy, doesn’t enjoy sitting around all day and just eating junk, and that doesn’t have addiction to social media.
One that’s health conscious, has passions and goals, wants to leave behind a legacy for her children (monetarily, mentally and spiritually) and that just wants the simple things in life!
I’m newly 24 years old, I’m at the point in my life now where I’m about to just work nonstop until I’m a full-time entrepreneur, and just sacrifice everything else to God until we get there together, which I know we will!
My question is, in this situation, should I even be trying to find a woman of God to build an empire with? Or should I just pray about it and move on?
So many RP Coaches are pretty much MGTOW, and most traditional people just tell me “you’ll find love when you’re not looking for it” all that jazz. I just don’t want to generalize EVERY woman like most on YouTube do, and hardly any of them ever talk about religion anyway!
Thank you all for your advice!
submitted by alexdoesmusic to RPChristians [link] [comments]

I ruined my career as a music artist. The years are passing by and the amount of regret and guilt are eating me alive.

Hello everyone.
First of all thank you for reading this and giving attention to my story I'm about to share. I want to mention this is a throwaway account because I feel shy talking about this subject. It is something personal to me.
To give you some quick background information about what's going on: - I'm currently 27 years old while my "career" has ended 7 years ago. In all this time in between, I've had the desire to achieve something similar but so far without the success I had imagined.

Here we go...
  1. When I was 12 years old, I had the desire to become an artist (a DJ/Electronic music artist). I had tons of ambition and motivation and had set my goal for life. From that point in my life I kept pursuing it and put in the hard work to achieve it. It was literally the thing that kept me awake at night. I imagined and visualized my dream of standing on a stage in front of 10k people and playing my own music. I visualized one of my idols supporting me and my music. That was the person I looked up to, the guy who sparkled my fire and inspired me to achieve something similar.
  2. Years went by where I got laughed at on every online forum possible. My music sucked, I was too confident about my thing and people basically told me it was pure shit haha. Yet it did not stop me from pursuing my dream. I was the little kid amongst older guys being better at this music production thing. It was fun to be honest. After 3 or 4 years, when I was around 16 my music got noticed by someone bigger than myself. My music started to get noticed by local clubs and "famous" DJ's. They started playing it every single week in clubs and reached out to me. That's where it all began. Somebody I looked up to emailed me and wanted to make a song together. That's what opened many doors for me. Eventually, it led to releasing (and distributing) a real song under my name and having more support and plays as I wished for.
  3. After a few more musical releases, I got approached again. This time by one of the biggest artists within this scene. I had the luck this scene was very local and everything happened in my country. So we met up. I was a shy little kid who took the train to cross the country to meet one of my idols. This was a big day. I felt like the luckiest and happiest kid alive. A dream coming true. My dream of being a star and realizing my goals didn't seem far away.
  4. Things went well from this point. It took some time but eventually near the time I graduated I was ready and settled to make this my business and job. I was happy, around 18 years old. And I was playing shows around the globe and earning a nice amount of money per booking. The fans and "likes" kept coming in and it seemed like I established some sort of fanbase. This was the life I imagined. My goal seemed reached and I was happy.
  5. As I grew older I started to become a bit more pessimistic or perfectionistic.. or both. There are a lot of fake things going on in the music business and I was not the type of artist who likes to play along with that. I felt real. I spoke real (to my fans, on my social media pages, etc), and I acted that way. I want to mention that at this same period of my life, my family was putting some sort of pressure on me that I should find a part-time job for some extra income. Since I didn't play shows every week, I didn't generate a stable income doing music alone. Yet this was the goal, and this was perfectly possible as almost everyone in my crew was making a living from this. I want to mention that "my crew" was my record label / booking agency where I was part of. I kept believing that this was possible but due the pressure and stress my family gave me I think I started to doubt myself at some point. Although I was living my dream and touring the world, my family didn't push or believe it enough so they would suggest me to find a parttime job. I hated that. Every time they brought that up it made me annoyed because I just wanted to focus on my career and because I knew I could pull this off.
  6. My career was still in a good line at that time. It was also the time I was smoking cannabis. I became an addict. It was something I did on a daily basis and I think it had a negative impact on my behavior and work ethic to produce music. It also had an impact on my social media posts and thoughts about the music industry.
  7. Eventually, everything let to the point where I made a social media post which my label and booking agency didn't like, at all. It was so "off-track" for them that they decided to cancel some of my bookings for that upcoming summer. My post was about justice, and I shared some of my thoughts on the "fake" aspect of this music business because it made me extremely annoyed how people could achieve the same things putting in less work than I did (friends, connections, money..). As my label and booking agency supported those fake activities as well, they were kind of pissed that I shared those honest words in front of my fans online.
  8. Since I was a honest person, stubborn, and perfectionistic, I was like "fuck this" and basically never made contact again with them. Eventually this led to my last booking and then my career died. To this day (7 years later), I still get spotify plays from those old songs, and I still get messages every now and then of people asking what happened and why I stopped making this music.
  9. I would like to mention that my interest for that specific genre was fading away near the time I made that post on my social media. Don't get me wrong, obviously, I would've loved to keep doing it as my job. But personally it just wasn't touching me that much anymore as there were other genres that started to appeal to me more.

Here is an important thing I remember telling my dad at the age of 20, after destroying my career and right before starting some labour work which I absolutely hated. "Dad, I'm going to do this job maximum 3 months before I'm off on another musical adventure in another style!".
So far 7 years have passed hopping jobs and not saving a lot of money. It's only been 2 years I finally been able to quit smoking cannabis. I have made tons of songs in all those years, and removed tons of songs completely from my computer because I hate them at some point and I get angry because of everything.
I get a few plays a month on Spotify with my new musical project but it never really took off. I decided to abandon my previous name and start from scratch because I didn't want any connection to my older project. The closest I got to achieving something big was another famous artist reaching out because he liked one of my songs, but eventually it led to nothing (unfortunately).
I have not played a single show as my new project and haven't got close to being successful or making this my job, at all.
As the years are passing by and I'm slowly starting to realize I'm no longer the "golden boy" (aka the little 13 year old kid with big dreams) it starts to eat me and devastate me mentally. It's a big part of my life and the dream is still alive but it feels like the fire or belief that I will get there is slowly fading away.
There have barely been days that I did not make music but no matter how much I produce or whatever genre or style I try, it doesn't seem to take off.
At this point, and for the last year, or 2-3 years, it has become worse.. I highly doubt every step I take and I feel like I cannot make any decision at all for my musical path anymore. I changed my artist name multiple times and even while writing this post I still think the name isn't good enough and I should start another project from scratch. I basically like a lot of genres and I can't seem to make a choice on what I really wanna go after. The musical world has exploded so much with social media and everything right after my career died and there just seems to be too much choice and things going on. I cannot seem to find the right path and I can't find my fire and ambition like I had when I was younger.
Every now and then I still look back at my musical colleagues which I abandoned 7 years ago and see what they are up to, what the music sounds like and how successful they are right now. It makes me feel worse but some part of me likes looking at it and imagined what I could've become. The fact of seeing them so successful right now and still doing their dream job just makes me even more sad realizing its been 7 years and I'm still living at home, hopping jobs and thinking how to take off on another musical path.
Last year I have met the most amazing girlfriend in the world, and in the meantime I found some other hobbies that I'm passionate about such as trading in forex and doing visuals. But I feel like it will never replace music since that's like my main-quest in life.
If I think about it, being able to do shows again and make an income being a music artist would make me the happiest person alive but there's no way I'm going back to my older project and certainly no way I'm going to knock on the door of my label and say 'Whatsup' after 7 years.
Without a doubt, my behavior and stubbornness led to the most stupid choice I ever made in my life.

Thanks for reading along. I might delete this post later because I feel like I shared too much personal stuff and it makes me insecure. Although I want to admit it felt good writing all of this.
Peace.
submitted by Top-Rub8826 to askatherapist [link] [comments]

I ruined my career as a music artist. The years are passing by and the amount of regret and guilt are eating me alive.

Hello everyone.
First of all thank you for reading this and giving attention to my story I'm about to share.I want to mention this is a throwaway account because I feel shy talking about this subject. It is something personal to me.
To give you some quick background information about what's going on:- I'm currently 27 years old while my "career" has ended 7 years ago. In all this time in between, I've had the desire to achieve something similar but so far without the success I had imagined.
Here we go...
  1. When I was 12 years old, I had the desire to become an artist (a DJ/Electronic music artist). I had tons of ambition and motivation and had set my goal for life.From that point in my life I kept pursuing it and put in the hard work to achieve it. It was literally the thing that kept me awake at night. I imagined and visualized my dream of standing on a stage in front of 10k people and playing my own music. I visualized one of my idols supporting me and my music. That was the person I looked up to, the guy who sparkled my fire and inspired me to achieve something similar.
  2. Years went by where I got laughed at on every online forum possible. My music sucked, I was too confident about my thing and people basically told me it was pure shit haha. Yet it did not stop me from pursuing my dream. I was the little kid amongst older guys being better at this music production thing. It was fun to be honest. After 3 or 4 years, when I was around 16 my music got noticed by someone bigger than myself. My music started to get noticed by local clubs and "famous" DJ's. They started playing it every single week in clubs and reached out to me. That's where it all began. Somebody I looked up to emailed me and wanted to make a song together. That's what opened many doors for me. Eventually, it led to releasing (and distributing) a real song under my name and having more support and plays as I wished for.
  3. After a few more musical releases, I got approached again. This time by one of the biggest artists within this scene. I had the luck this scene was very local and everything happened in my country. So we met up. I was a shy little kid who took the train to cross the country to meet one of my idols. This was a big day. I felt like the luckiest and happiest kid alive. A dream coming true. My dream of being a star and realizing my goals didn't seem far away.
  4. Things went well from this point. It took some time but eventually near the time I graduated I was ready and settled to make this my business and job. I was happy, around 18 years old. And I was playing shows around the globe and earning a nice amount of money per booking. The fans and "likes" kept coming in and it seemed like I established some sort of fanbase. This was the life I imagined. My goal seemed reached and I was happy.
  5. As I grew older I started to become a bit more pessimistic or perfectionistic.. or both. There are a lot of fake things going on in the music business and I was not the type of artist who likes to play along with that. I felt real. I spoke real (to my fans, on my social media pages, etc), and I acted that way. I want to mention that at this same period of my life, my family was putting some sort of pressure on me that I should find a part-time job for some extra income. Since I didn't play shows every week, I didn't generate a stable income doing music alone. Yet this was the goal, and this was perfectly possible as almost everyone in my crew was making a living from this. I want to mention that "my crew" was my record label / booking agency where I was part of. I kept believing that this was possible but due the pressure and stress my family gave me I think I started to doubt myself at some point. Although I was living my dream and touring the world, my family didn't push or believe it enough so they would suggest me to find a parttime job. I hated that. Every time they brought that up it made me annoyed because I just wanted to focus on my career and because I knew I could pull this off.
  6. My career was still in a good line at that time. It was also the time I was smoking cannabis. I became an addict. It was something I did on a daily basis and I think it had a negative impact on my behavior and work ethic to produce music. It also had an impact on my social media posts and thoughts about the music industry.
  7. Eventually, everything let to the point where I made a social media post which my label and booking agency didn't like, at all. It was so "off-track" for them that they decided to cancel some of my bookings for that upcoming summer. My post was about justice, and I shared some of my thoughts on the "fake" aspect of this music business because it made me extremely annoyed how people could achieve the same things putting in less work than I did (friends, connections, money..). As my label and booking agency supported those fake activities as well, they were kind of pissed that I shared those honest words in front of my fans online.
  8. Since I was a honest person, stubborn, and perfectionistic, I was like "fuck this" and basically never made contact again with them. Eventually this led to my last booking and then my career died. To this day (7 years later), I still get spotify plays from those old songs, and I still get messages every now and then of people asking what happened and why I stopped making this music.
  9. I would like to mention that my interest for that specific genre was fading away near the time I made that post on my social media. Don't get me wrong, obviously, I would've loved to keep doing it as my job. But personally it just wasn't touching me that much anymore as there were other genres that started to appeal to me more.

Here is an important thing I remember telling my dad at the age of 20, after destroying my career and right before starting some labour work which I absolutely hated. "Dad, I'm going to do this job maximum 3 months before I'm off on another musical adventure in another style!".
So far 7 years have passed hopping jobs and not saving a lot of money. It's only been 2 years I finally been able to quit smoking cannabis. I have made tons of songs in all those years, and removed tons of songs completely from my computer because I hate them at some point and I get angry because of everything.
I get a few plays a month on Spotify with my new musical project but it never really took off. I decided to abandon my previous name and start from scratch because I didn't want any connection to my older project. The closest I got to achieving something big was another famous artist reaching out because he liked one of my songs, but eventually it led to nothing (unfortunately).
I have not played a single show as my new project and haven't got close to being successful or making this my job, at all.
As the years are passing by and I'm slowly starting to realize I'm no longer the "golden boy" (aka the little 13 year old kid with big dreams) it starts to eat me and devastate me mentally. It's a big part of my life and the dream is still alive but it feels like the fire or belief that I will get there is slowly fading away.
There have barely been days that I did not make music but no matter how much I produce or whatever genre or style I try, it doesn't seem to take off.
At this point, and for the last year, or 2-3 years, it has become worse.. I highly doubt every step I take and I feel like I cannot make any decision at all for my musical path anymore. I changed my artist name multiple times and even while writing this post I still think the name isn't good enough and I should start another project from scratch. I basically like a lot of genres and I can't seem to make a choice on what I really wanna go after. The musical world has exploded so much with social media and everything right after my career died and there just seems to be too much choice and things going on. I cannot seem to find the right path and I can't find my fire and ambition like I had when I was younger.
Every now and then I still look back at my musical colleagues which I abandoned 7 years ago and see what they are up to, what the music sounds like and how successful they are right now. It makes me feel worse but some part of me likes looking at it and imagined what I could've become. The fact of seeing them so successful right now and still doing their dream job just makes me even more sad realizing its been 7 years and I'm still living at home, hopping jobs and thinking how to take off on another musical path.
Last year I have met the most amazing girlfriend in the world, and in the meantime I found some other hobbies that I'm passionate about such as trading in forex and doing visuals. But I feel like it will never replace music since that's like my main-quest in life.
If I think about it, being able to do shows again and make an income being a music artist would make me the happiest person alive but there's no way I'm going back to my older project and certainly no way I'm going to knock on the door of my label and say 'Whatsup' after 7 years.
Without a doubt, my behavior and stubbornness led to the most stupid choice I ever made in my life.

Thanks for reading along. I might delete this post later because I feel like I shared too much personal stuff and it makes me insecure. Although I want to admit it felt good writing all of this.
Peace.
submitted by Top-Rub8826 to Advice [link] [comments]

Thoughts On The Market Series #1 - The New Normal?

Market Outlook: What to Make of This “New Normal”

By ****\*
March 16, 2020
After an incredibly volatile week – which finished with the Dow Jones Industrial Average rallying over 9% on Friday – I suppose my readers might expect me to be quite upbeat about the markets.
Unfortunately, I persist in my overall pessimistic outlook for stocks, and for the economy in general. Friday’s rally essentially negated Thursday’s sell-off, but I don’t expect it to be the start of a sustained turnaround.
We’re getting a taste of that this morning, with the Dow opening down around 7%.
This selloff is coming on the back of an emergency interest rate cut by the Federal Reserve of 100 basis points (to 0%-0.25%) on Sunday… along with the announcement of a new quantitative easing program of $700 billion. (I will write about this further over the next several days.)
As I have been writing for many weeks, the financial bubble – which the Fed created by pumping trillions of dollars into the financial system – has popped. It will take some time for the bubble to deflate to sustainable levels.
Today I’ll walk you through what’s going on in the markets and the economy… what I expect going forward and why… and what it means for us as traders. (You’ll see it’s not all bad news.)

Coronavirus’ Strain on the Global Economy

To start, let’s put things in perspective: This asset deflation was coming one way or another. Covid19 (or coronavirus) has simply accelerated the process.
Major retailers are closing, tourism is getting crushed, universities and schools are sending students home, conventions, sporting events, concerts, and other public gatherings have been cancelled, banks and other financial service firms are going largely virtual, and there has been a massive loss of wealth.
Restaurant data suggests that consumer demand is dropping sharply, and the global travel bans will only worsen the situation.
Commercial real estate is another sector that looks particularly vulnerable. We are almost certain to see a very sharp and pronounced economic slowdown here in the United States, and elsewhere. In fact, I expect a drop of at least 5% of GDP over the next two quarters, which is quite severe by any standard.
Sure, when this cycle is complete, there will be tremendous amounts of pent-up demand by consumers, but for the time being, the consumer is largely on the sidelines.
Of course, the problems aren’t just in the U.S. China’s numbers look awful. In fact, the government there may have to “massage” their numbers a bit to show a positive GDP in the first quarter. Europe’s numbers will also look dreadful, and South Korea’s economy has been hit badly.
All around the world, borders are being shut, all non-essential businesses are being closed, and people in multiple countries are facing a lockdown of historic proportions. The coronavirus is certainly having a powerful impact, and it looks certain that its impact will persist for a while.
Consider global tourism. It added almost $9 trillion to the global economy in 2018, and roughly 320 million jobs. This market is in serious trouble.
Fracking in the U.S. is another business sector that is in a desperate situation. Millions of jobs and tens of billions of loans are now in jeopardy.
The derivative businesses that this sector supports will be likewise devastated as companies are forced to reduce their workforces or shut down due to the collapse in oil prices. This sector’s suffering will probably force banks to book some big losses despite attempts by the government to support this industry.
In a similar way, the derivative businesses that are supported by the universities and colleges across America are going to really suffer.
There are nearly 20 million students in colleges across the U.S. When they go home for spring vacation and do not return, the effect on the local businesses that colleges and university populations support will be devastating.
What does this “new normal” mean going forward? Let’s take a look…

New Normal

The new normal may become increasingly unpleasant for us. We need to be ready to hunker down for quite some time.
Beyond that, the government needs to handle this crisis far better in the future.
The level of stupidity associated with the massive throngs of people trapped in major airports yesterday, for example, was almost unimaginable.
Instead of facilitating the reduction of social contact and halting the further spread of the coronavirus, the management of the crowds at the airports produced a perfect breeding ground for the spread of the virus.
My guess is that more draconian travel restrictions will be implemented soon, matching to some extent the measures taken across Europe.
This will in turn have a further dampening effect on economic activity in the U.S., putting more and more pressure on the Fed and the government to artificially support a rapidly weakening economy.
Where does this end up? It is too early to say, but a very safe bet is that we will have some months of sharply negative growth. Too many sectors of the economy are going to take a hit to expect anything else.
The Fed has already driven interest rates to zero. Will that help? Unlikely. In fact, as I mentioned at the beginning of this update, the markets are voting with a resounding NO.
The businesses that are most affected by the current economic situation will still suffer. Quantitative easing is hardly a cure-all. In fact, it has been one of the reasons that we have such a mess in our markets today.
The markets have become addicted to the easy money, so more of the same will have little or no impact. We will need real economic demand, not an easier monetary policy.
It won’t help support tourism, for example, or the other sectors getting smashed right now. The government will need to spend at least 5% of GDP, or roughly $1 trillion, to offset the weakness I see coming.
Is it surprising that the Fed and the government take emergency steps to try to stabilize economic growth? Not at all. This is essentially what they have been doing for a long time, so it is completely consistent with their playbook.
Next, I would anticipate the government implementing some massive public-works and infrastructure programs over the coming months. That would be very helpful, and almost certainly quite necessary.
But there’s a problem with this kind of intervention from the government…

What Happens When You Eliminate the Business Cycle

The Fed’s foolish attempt to eliminate business cycles is a significant contributing factor to the volatility we are currently experiencing.
Quantitative easing is nothing more than printing lots and lots of money to support a weak economy and give the appearance of growth and prosperity. In fact, it is a devaluation of the currency’s true buying power.
That in turn artificially drives up the prices of other assets, such as stocks, real estate and gold – but it does not create true wealth. That only comes with non-inflationary growth of goods and services and associated increases in economic output.
Inflation is the government’s way to keep people thinking they are doing better.
To that point: We have seen some traditional safe-haven assets getting destroyed during this time of risk aversion. That has certainly compounded the problems of many investors.
Gold is a great example. As the stock market got violently slammed, people were forced to come up with cash to support their losing positions. Gold became a short-term source of liquidity as people sold their gold holdings in somewhat dramatic fashion. It was one of the few holdings of many people that was not dramatically under water, so people sold it.
The move may have seemed perverse, particularly to people who bought gold as a safe-haven asset, but in times of crisis, all assets tend to become highly correlated, at least short term.
We saw a similar thing happen with long yen exposures and long Bitcoin exposures recently.
The dollar had its strongest one-day rally against the yen since November 2016 as people were forced to sell huge amounts of yen to generate liquidity. Many speculators had made some nice profits recently as the dollar dropped sharply from 112 to 101.30, but they have been forced to book whatever profits they had in this position. Again, this was due to massive losses elsewhere in their portfolios.
Is the yen’s sell-off complete? If it is not complete, it is probably at least close to an attractive level for Japanese investors to start buying yen against a basket of currencies. The major supplies of yen have largely been taken off the table for now.
For example, the yen had been a popular funding currency for “carry” plays. People were selling yen and buying higher-yielding currencies to earn the interest rate difference between the liability currency (yen) and the funding currency (for example, the U.S. dollar).
Carry plays are very unpopular in times of great uncertainty and volatility, however, so that supply of yen will be largely gone for quite some time. Plus, the yield advantage of currencies such as the U.S. dollar, Canadian dollar, and Australian dollar versus the yen is nearly gone.
In addition, at the end of the Japanese fiscal year , there is usually heavy demand for yen as Japanese corporations need to bring home a portion of their overseas holdings for balance sheet window dressing. I don’t expect that pressure to be different this year.
Just as the safe-haven assets of yen and gold got aggressively sold, Bitcoin also got hammered. It was driven by a similar theme – people had big losses and they needed to produce liquidity quickly. Selling Bitcoin became one of the sources of that liquidity.

Heavy Price Deflation Ahead

Overall, there is a chance that this scenario turns into something truly ugly, with sustained price deflation across many parts of the economy. We will certainly have price deflation in many sectors, at least on a temporary basis.
Why does that matter over the long term?
Price deflation is the most debilitating economic development in a society that is debt-laden – like the U.S. today. Prices of assets come down… and the debt becomes progressively bigger and bigger.
The balance sheet of oil company Chesapeake Energy is a classic example. It’s carrying almost $10 billion worth of debt… versus a market cap of only about $600 million. Talk about leverage! When the company had a market cap of $10 billion, that debt level didn’t appear so terrifying.
Although this is an extreme example for illustrative purposes, the massive debt loads of China would seem more and more frightening if we were to sink into flat or negative growth cycles for a while. The government’s resources are already being strained, and it can artificially support only so many failing companies.
The U.S. has gigantic levels of debt as well, but it has the advantage of being the world’s true hegemon, and the U.S. dollar is the world’s reserve currency. This creates a tremendous amount of leverage and power in financing its debt.
The U.S. has been able to impose its will on its trading partners to trade major commodities in dollars. This has created a constant demand for the dollar that offsets, to a large extent, the massive trade deficit that the U.S. runs.
For example, if a German company wants to buy oil, then it needs to hold dollars. This creates a constant demand for dollar assets.
In short, the dollar’s status as the true global reserve currency is far more important than most people realize. China does not hold this advantage.

What to Do Now

In terms of how to position ourselves going forward, I strongly recommend that people continue with a defensive attitude regarding stocks. There could be a lot more downside to come. Likewise, we could see some panic selling in other asset classes.
The best thing right now is to be liquid and patient, ready to pounce on special opportunities when they present themselves.
For sure, there will be some exceptional opportunities, but it is too early to commit ourselves to just one industry. These opportunities could come in diverse sectors such as commercial real estate, hospitality, travel and leisure, and others.
As for the forex markets, the volatility in the currencies is extreme, so we are a bit cautious.
I still like the yen as a safe-haven asset. I likewise still want to sell the Australian dollar, the New Zealand dollar, and the Canadian dollar as liability currencies.
Why? The Bank of Canada, the Reserve Bank of Australia, and the Reserve Bank of New Zealand have all taken aggressive steps recently, slashing interest rates. These currencies are all weak, and they will get weaker.
Finding an ideal entry for a trade, however, is tricky. Therefore, we are being extra careful with our trading. We always prioritize the preservation of capital over generating profits, and we will continue with this premise.
At the same time, volatility in the markets is fantastic for traders. We expect many excellent opportunities to present themselves over the coming days and weeks as prices get driven to extreme levels and mispricings appear. So stay tuned.
submitted by ParallaxFX to Forex [link] [comments]

Tips From A Lifer

I’ve been reading these posts on an off for quite some time now and it saddened me to see someone had recently posted their “I quit the game” statement. We all walk through fire to stand in the green valley...and the journey has to be made on foot. And alone. And it’s tough.
In response, I wanted to add a list of pointers for people starting out in this insane game and to address what I’ve learned from over a decade of trading Forex. It’s long-ish but it’s based on reality and not a bunch of meaningless retail junk systems and “insider knowledge” by nitwits on YouTube or some 19-year old “whiz kid” who apparently makes ten billion dollars a week with a mystical set-up that’ll only cost you $1,999 to buy!
I became a profitable trader by keeping everything simple. I lost thousands when I started out, but I look back now and realise how easily I could’ve avoided those losses.
Keep Everything Simple.
For the sake of disclosure, I worked for Morgan Stanley for over a decade in fixed income but learned almost everything I know from the forex guys whom I got to know as good friends. They make markets but there’s still a lot to learn from them as a small fry trader. I got into all this as a hobby after annoying the traders with questions, and all these years later it still pays me. There are still occasional nightmare accidents but they’re far rarer to the point where they don’t affect my ROI.
Possibly the most clear statement I could make about Forex trading in the large institutional setting is actually a pretty profound one: Forex traders are not what you think they are: every single forex trader I ever worked with (and who lasted the test of time) had the exact same set of personality traits: 1. NOT ONE of them was a gung-ho high-five loudmouth, 2. Every single one of them analysed their mistakes to the point of obsession, 3. They were bookish and not jocks, 4. They had the humility to admit that many early errors were the result of piss-poor planning. The loudmouths last a year and are gone.
Guys who last 5, 10, 20 years in a major finance house on the trading floor are nothing like the absurd 1980s Hollywood images you see on your tv; they’re the perfect opposite of that stereotype. The absolute best I ever met was a studious Irish-Catholic guy from Boston who was conscientious, helpful, calm, and utterly committed to one thing: learning from every single error of judgement. To quote him: “Losing teaches you far more than winning”.
Enough of that. These points are deliberately broad. Here goes:
  1. Know The Pairs. It amazes me to see countless small account traders speak as though “systems” work across all pairs. They don’t. Trading GBP/CHF is an entirely different beast to trading CHF/JPY. If you don’t know the innate properties of the CHF market or the JPY or the interplay between the AUD and NZD etc then leave them alone until you do. —There’s no rush— Don’t trade pairs until you are clear on what drives ‘commodity currencies’, or what goes on behind currencies which are easily manipulated, or currencies which simply tend to range for months on end instead of having clear trends. Every pair has its own benefits and drawbacks. Google “Tips on trading the JPY” etc etc etc and get to know the personality of these currencies. They’re just products like any other....Would you buy a Honda without knowing a single thing about the brand or its engine or its durability? So why trade a currency you know nothing about?
  2. Indicators are only telling you what you should be able to see in front of you: PRICE AND MARKET STRUCTURE. Take everything off your charts and simply ask one question: What do I see happening right here and right now? What time frame do I see it on? If you can’t spot a simple consolidation, an uptrend, or a downtrend on a quick high-versus-low time frame scan then no indicator on the planet will help you.
  3. Do you know why momentum indicators work on clear trends but are often a complete disaster on ranges? If not, why not? Do you know why such indicators are losing you tons of trades on low TFs? Do you actually understand the simple mathematics of any indicator? If the answer to these questions is “no” then why are you using these things and piling on indicator after indicator after indicator until you have some psychedelic disco on your screen that looks like an intergalactic dogfight in Star Wars? Keep it simple. Know thy indicator.
  4. Risk:Reward Addiction. The greatest profit killer. So you set up your stops and limits at 1:1.5 or whatever and say “That’s me done” only to come back and see that your limit was missed by a soul-crushing 5 pips before reversing trend to cost you $100, $200, $1000. So you say “Ah but the system is fine”. Guys...this isn’t poker; it doesn’t have to be a zero sum game. Get over your 1:1.5 addiction —The Market Does Not Owe You 50 Pips— Which leads to the next point which, frankly, is what has allowed me to make money consistently for my entire trading life...
  5. YOU WILL NEVER GO BROKE TAKING A PROFIT. So you want to take that 50-pip profit in two hours because some analyst says it’ll happen or because your trend lines say it has to happen. You set your 1:1.5 order. “I’ll check where I’m at in an hour” you say. An hour later you see you’re up 18 pips and you feel you’re owed more by now. “If I close this trade now I could be missing out on a stack”. So what?! Here’s an example: I trade in sterling. I was watching GBP climb against it’s post-GDP flop report and once I was up £157 I thought “This is going to start bouncing off resistance all morning and I don’t need the hassle of riding the rollercoaster all day long”. So I closed it, took the £157, went to make breakfast. Came back shortly afterwards and looked at the chart and saw that I could’ve made about £550 if I’d trusted myself. Do I care? Absolutely not...in fact it usually makes me laugh. So I enter another trade, make another quick £40, then another £95. Almost £300 in less than 45 mins and I’m supposed to cry over the £250 I “missed out on”?
£300 in less than an hour for doing nothing more than waiting for some volatility then tapping a keyboard. It’s almost a sin to make money that easily and I don’t “deserve” any of it. Shut off the laptop. Go out for the day.
Does the following sound familiar? “Okay I’m almost at my take-profit...almost!.....almost!....okay it’s bouncing away from me but it’ll come back. Come back, damnit!! Jesus come back to my limit! Ah for F**k’s sakes!! This is complete crap; that trade was almost done! This is rigged! This is worse than poker! This is total BS!!”
So when you were 50% or 75% toward your goal and could see the trade slipping away why wasn’t $100 or $200 enough? You need more than that?...really?!
So point 6:
  1. Tomorrow Is Another Day. Lordy Lordy, you only made $186 all day. What a disaster! Did you lose anything? Nope. Will the market be open again tomorrow? Yep. Does London open in just four hours? Yep. Is the NOK/SGD/EUR whatever still looking shitty? Yep. So let it go- there are endless THOUSANDS of trades you can make in your lifetime and you need to let a small gain be seen for what it is: ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL PROFIT.
Four or five solid but small profits in a day = One Large Profit. I don’t care how I make it, I don’t care if it’s ten lots of £20, I don’t care if I make the lot in a single trade in 30 seconds either. And once I have a nice sum I switch the computer off and leave it the Fk alone. I don’t care if Brexit is due to detonate the pound or if some Fed guy is going to crap all over the USD in his speech; I’ve made my money and I’m out for the day. There will be other speeches, other detonations.
I could get into the entire process by which I trade but it’s aggravatingly basic trend-following mostly based on fundamentals. Losing in this business really does boil down to the same appalling combination of traits that kill most traders: Greed, Impatience, Addiction. Do I trade every day? Absolutely not; if there’s nothing with higher probability trades then I just leave it alone. When I hit my target I’m out for the day- the market doesn’t give a crap about me and I don’t give a crap about the market, if you see my meaning.
I played poker semi-professionally for two years and it’s absolutely soul-destroying to be “cold decked” for a whole week. But every player has to experience it in order to lose the arrogance and the bravado; losing is fine as long as you learn from it. One day you’ll be in a position to fold pocket Kings because you’ll know you’re dead in the water. The currency markets are exactly the same in that one regard: if you learn from the past you’ll know when it’s time to get out of that stupid trade or that stupid “system” that sounded so great when you had a demo account.
Bank a profit. Keep your charts simple. Know the pairs. Be patient. Touch nothing till you understand it inside out.
And if you’re not enjoying the game....STOP PLAYING.
[if people find this helpful I might post a thread on the best books I’ve studied from and why most forex books are utterly repetitious bullshit].
Peace.
submitted by Dave-1066 to Forex [link] [comments]

My boyfriend might be delusional, please advise.

I (21F) am in a fairly new relationship with B (21M). We’re both young and new to love. He’s my second serious relationship. I really love him and I want to give him my fullest support, but it seems like this is very difficult to do so. What do I mean by support? Read on.
(This is focused on financial issues)
Background on B: His family is very successful with most of them owning their own businesses and are very rich. I am also his first girlfriend and hence, may be a little more clueless on the dos and don’ts in a relationship. For example, he finds it perfectly fine to leave me on read and not reply me for hours until he decides when he wants to, or he also finds it perfectly okay to go to clubs without informing me. However, I have already talked to him and told him I would prefer if he told me beforehand. These are issues already addressed, so let’s not talk about them.
B is someone who is easily convinced, manipulated and he picks up bad things very quickly. His friends are heavy smokers, addicted to online trading gambling and are all brandwhores. He picked these up very quickly and spend most of his money away, especially on Forex. Now, I would say Forex is perfectly fine since it's more of an investment, rather than gambling. However, he has spend thousands on it and has never gained any profit. He always talks about famous people who are very successful in Forex and aims to be like them, but has never once earned in the past 4 years. He has also become a very rude person during this quarantine from talking much more to his friends and has always been asking me to purchase branded goods with him.
Background on Me: I come from a low income family. I do not take allowance or any form of money from my parents. I work many part-time jobs during my school days and often have to fork out my own money to pay for my parent's bills and my school fees. I have become someone who saves a lot for my future and for rainy days as I want to live a comfortable life in the future. But, I have also been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder due to financial issues, school and work, which B does no help as he consistently requests me to invest in him/buy expensive goods with him.

Ever since quarantine, I haven't met him in almost 2 months and it gave me a lot of time to think about B. Now, the delusional part. He always tells me he wants to be extremely successful, he wants to be a businessman, a millionaire and open tons of businesses. He wants to be richer than his family members and own big houses. Why do I find this delusional, rather than big dreams? He does not save any of his money, or plans out what he wants to do. He jumps from one to another business plan, for example, on Monday he says he wants to open his own restaurant, on Tuesday he says he wants to open his own hair salon etc. He always tells me to save more of my money so that we can buy a big house in the future and marry the moment he finished University. However, he has 0 savings and spends everything on Forex, cigarettes and branded goods. Why does this concern me so much? I want to have a future with him. I have already planned out my future for myself but.. will I have one? From the looks of it, I think I will end up having to support him instead, FINANCIALLY, which has always been my nightmare. I talked to my closest buddy about it, and he said it's best to end it now. But I really love B, and the thought of leaving him scares me. Please advise what I should do, to help him and myself. Thank you.
submitted by ThrowRABunnyEars to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

[LONG] My Story of Disillusionment with and Disappointment in the World and Myself

Intro.
This might be a long one. I hope someone reads the thing, I put like 3 hours into writing it. A brief story of my life and how it all led up to this moment, where I am disillusioned with my self-image, my life choices, and certain aspects of the world, and have no idea what to do next. Warning: this whole thing might be a little depressing to read.
Childhood.
I am a 20yo Russian male. During my childhood, I was made to believe that I am capable of doing something great and doing better than anyone. At the same time I developed a very non-conformist life stance and very often rejected things and ideas simply because they were too popular for my taste, and I couldn't feel special whilst enjoying them. Of course, in turn, society rejected me, as it does with anyone who doesn't play by the rules. Oh well.
My only redeeming quality was that I considered myself pretty smart. Which is even easier to assume, when at the same time you think that you're different from everyone else. Now, I know that to some extent, I was indeed smarter than most people in certain areas. Unlike most people I knew back then, often with bare minimum efforts I was able to maintain near perfect grades at school. I was also enjoying learning new things and reading more than an average person. So, let's just say, I had a basis to assume I was a smart dude.
I wasn't happy and content with my life, though. I never had real friends, because I only hung out with people when they were my classmates/roommates/co-workers, and after we parted ways, I rarely if ever contacted them afterwards. I always enjoyed doing things you usually do in solitude more, because when I was alone, I wouldn't be afraid that someone could hurt me for being different. Because of that, I was never in a romantic relationship.
High School.
Still, life was going okay. By the end of school, I kind of accepted my social deficiency and I wanted to focus on improving the world and become a successful person - for myself. I was facing a dilemma, though. Despite the fact that I was doing great in school, the idea of having to invest four years of my time into studying something really specific, and then having to work another 20-30 years on the same job was terrifying, because I had no idea what I liked to do! Nothing seemed interesting to me, I didn't have a passion for doing anything... Thanks to my video game addiction, which made me lazy as fuck, probably. I also needed to meet my criteria for success with my future job, which included being financially successful. I grew up in top 1% income family, so... I always felt the pressure to outperform or at least match my parents' income.
Enter trading. My dad discovered investing several years ago (we don't live in US, so most of the people aren't as financially savvy, so he never thought about investing before then). I was always curious about financial independence and markets, but now I was seeing it all done in front of me, I realized that it might be a good opportunity to make a lot of money and become successful without being socially adept, which is something absolutely required in business or politics. So, I asked my father to open a brokerage account for me in the US, and started swing trading (trading in weekly/monthly time frames). I could only trade slow and small because of the trade restrictions put on accounts <$25k and <21yo in the US. Still, it was going well, but in hindsight I was just lucky to be there during a great bull market.
Even before I thought trading and more importantly investing were the ways smart people make money. I thought simply because I was conventionally smart, I had a talent or an innate ability to pick innovative stocks and do venture investing when I grow some capital. I truly believed in that long before I was introduced to financial markets, I believed that my surface level understanding of multiple areas of cutting edge and emerging technology would give me an edge compared to all the other investors.
US Community College and Return Back.
In the end, I've decided I want to go to a US community college and study finance and become a trader and later an investor, but I didn't want to work for a fund or something like that (lazy ass). I wanted to use my knowledge and skill and my own money to grow my net worth and make a living. I didn't really like the process of trading, I just needed the money to live by while I was trying to figure out what else to do with my life. Because I thought I were smart, I thought this would come easily to me. Boy was I wrong. From the nicest of conditions in my hometown, I was suddenly moved into a foreign setting, on the other side of the planet away form my family and mates, with a video game addiction and laziness that ruined my daily routine and studying as well. The fact that I didn't like my major was not helping. My grades fell from A- in the first quarter to C+ in the last. I gained +30% from my normal weight. I was stressed out, not going outside and sitting at my computer desk for days at a time, skipping all the classes I could if they were not absolutely essential for my grades, living on prepared foods. I never got out of my shell and barely talked to anyone in English, all of my friends were Russian speaking. I wasted an opportunity to improve my speaking, although aside from that my English skills satisfy me.
By the end of community college, last summer, I was left with B grades that wouldn't let me transfer anywhere decent, and the extreme stress that I put myself through started taking a toll on my mental health. I was planning to take a break and go back to Russia for several months, and transfer back to a US uni this winter. Needless to say, you can't run from yourself. It didn't really become much better after a few months in Russia. I didn't want to study finance anymore, because it was boring and I was exhausted. I still had the video game addiction, still was lazy and gained some more extra pounds of weight. I was not sleeping at all, extremely sleep deprived for months. Because of this and lack of mental stimulation I started to become dumber. And all that was happening where I didn't really have to do anything: not study or work, just sit around the house and do whatever I wanted. Turns out, these conditions didn't help me to get out of the incoming depression.
Finally, around November, when I already sent out all of my transfer applications and already got some positive answers from several universities, I knew I didn't have much time left at home, and I had to leave soon. But I really, really didn't want to go back. It was scarier than the first time. I was afraid of new changes, I just wanted for the time to stop and letting me relax, heal... I was having suicidal thoughts and talked about it with my family and my therapist. They were all supportive and helped me as much as they could. But I was the only person who could really help myself. If I wanted to breathe freely, I had to admit defeat and not go back to the US to continue my education. It was extremely hard at first, but then I just let go. I decided to find a temporary job as an English tutor and give myself time to think. Then I remembered that I had a bunch of money in my trading account. I still thought that I was pretty smart, despite failing college, so I figured, why not try move it to Russian brokers who don't have trading restrictions, and do it full time? Which is exactly what I did. And I started to study trading all by myself at a fast pace. I was now trading full time and it was going sideways: +10% in December, -20% in January. Then, something incredible happened. I was already in a shitty place in life, but I still had some hope for my future. Things were about to get much worse. I'm in the late January, and I discovered for myself that the whole financial industry of the world was a fraud.
Brief Explanation of My Discoveries.
In the image of the financial industry, there are several levels of perceived credibility.
In the bottom tier, there is pure gambling. In my country, there were periods when binary options trading and unreliable Forex brokers were popular among common folk, but these were obvious and unsophisticated fraudsters who were one step away from being prosecuted. There are also cryptocurrencies that don't hold any value and are also used only for speculation/redistribution of wealth. There is also a wonderful gambling subreddit wallstreetbets where most users don't even try to hide the fact that what they are doing is pure gambling. I love it. But the thing is, this is trading/investing for the people who have no idea what it is, and most people discredit it as a fraud, which it, indeed, is. These examples are 99% marketing/public image and 1% finance. But these offer x10-1000 returns in the shortest time span. Typical get-rich-quick schemes, but they attract attention.
Then, there is trading tier. You can have multiple sub levels here, in the bottom of this tier we would probably have complex technical analysis (indicators) and daily trading/scalping. I was doing this in the DecembeJanuary. At the top would be people who do fundamental analysis (study financial reports) and position trade (monthly time frames). Now, there is constant debate in the trading community whether technical analysis or fundamental analysis is better. I have a solid answer to the question. They work in the same way. Or rather, they don't work at all.
You'd ask: "Why you didn't discover this earlier? You were in this financial thing for several years now!" Well, you see, unlike on the previous level, here millions of people say that they actually believe trading works and there is a way to use the available tools to have great returns. Some of these people actually know that trading doesn't work, but they benefit from other traders believing in it, because they can sell them courses or take brokerage fees from them. Still, when there are millions around you telling you that it works, even a non-conformist like me would budge. Not that many people actually participate in the markets, so I thought that by being in this minority made me smart and protected from fraudsters. Lol. All it took for me to discover the truth is to accidentally discover that some technical indicators give random results, do a few google searches, reach some scientific studies which are freely available and prove that technical and fundamental analysis don't work. It was always in front of me, but the fucking trading community plugged my ears and closed my eyes shut so I wasn't able to see it. Trading usually promises 3-15% gain a month.
A huge shock, but surely there was still a way for me to work this out? Active investing it is!
The next level, active investing, is different from trading. You aim for 15-50% yearly returns, but you don't have to do as much work. You hold on to stocks of your choice for years at a time, once in a while you study the markets, re balance your portfolio, etc. Or you invest your money in a fund, that will select the stocks of their choice and manage their and your portfolio for you. For a small fee of course. All of these actions are aimed at trying to outperform the gain the market made as a whole, and so called index funds, which invest in basically everything and follow the market returns - about 7-10% a year. And if I ever had any doubts in trading, I firmly believed that active investing works since I was a little kid (yes I knew about it back then). And this is where the real fraud comes in.
The whole Wall Street and every broker, every stock exchange in the world are a part of a big fraud. Only about 10-20% of professional fund managers outperform the market in any 15 year period. If you take 30 years, this dwindles to almost nothing, which means that no one can predict the markets. These people have no idea what they are doing. Jim Cramer is pure show-business and has no idea what's going on. Warren Buffet gained his fortune with pure luck, and for every Buffet there are some people who made only a million bucks and countless folks who lost everything.
Wall Street. They have trillions of dollars and use all that money and power and marketing to convince you that there is a way to predict where the stocks are going without being a legal insider or somehow abusing the law. They will make you think you can somehow learn from them where to invest your money on your own or they will make you believe that you should just give it to them and they will manage it for you, because they know how everything works and they can predict the future using past data.
They won't. They don't. They can't. There are studies and statistics to prove it countless times over the span of a 100 years. But they will still charge you exchange fees, brokerage fees and management fees anyway. And they also manipulate certain studies, lobby where and when they need it, and spread misinformation on an unprecedented scale, creating a positive image of themselves. And everyone falls for that. Billions of people around the globe still think it's all legit.
Passive index investing is the last level. You just put your money in the market and wait. Markets will go up at a predetermined rate. If there's a crisis, in 10 years no one will even remember. Markets always go up in the end. But passive index investing can only give you only 7% inflation-adjusted returns a year. Not enough to stop working or even retire early, unless you have a high-paying job in a first-world country. I don't.
Despite all that, to put it simply, this is the only type of investing that works and doesn't involve any kind of fraud or gambling. It's the type of investing that will give you the most money. If you want to know why it is like that and how to do it, just go to financialindependence. They know this stuff better than any other sub. Better than investing, trading or any other sub where non-passive-index investing is still discussed as viable strategy.
Back to me.
My whole being was fucked over, my hopes and dreams and understanding of success and how this world works were shattered. I realized, I had no future in financial industry, because only middlemen make money in there, and I quit college needed to get there. Frankly, I wouldn't want to work there even if I had the opportunity. The pay is good, but the job is boring and I wouldn't want to be a part of this giant scheme anyway. But even if I wanted to go back, I also couldn't. Russia is in a worsening crisis and my parents could no longer afford a US university and now with coronavirus it's even worse. Good thing I quit before it all happened. I learned a valuable lesson and didn't lose that much money for it (only about 10% of my savings). God knows where it would lead me if I continued to be delusional. But now that my last temporary plans for the future were scrapped, I had no idea what to do next.
The future.
With the reality hitting me, I would lie if I say it didn't all come full circle and connect to my past. I realized that I was stupid and not intelligent, because I was living in a made-up world for years now. But even if I were intelligent, pure wit would not give me the success and fortune that I was craving, because trading and active investing were a no-go for me, and business/politics require a very different, extroverted mindset, different education and interest from my own. My only redeeming quality in a hopeless introvert world, my perceived intelligence was taken away from me and rendered useless at the same time.
Besides, failing at that one thing made me insecure about everything and now I think of myself as an average individual. So, if 8 out of 10 businesses fail, I shouldn't start one because I will probably fail. And if most politicians don't get anywhere, why should I bother? If average salary in my country is X, I shouldn't hope for more. I stopped believing in my ability to achieve something. First, I failed at education and now I failed... Professionally? I don't know how to describe it, but my life recently was just an emotional roller coaster. I just feel like a very old person and all I want calmness and stability in my life. I was very lazy before just because, but now I feel like I also don't want to do anything because I feel I would just fail. It feels better now I don't have to worry about trading anymore and I got rid of that load... But I am still miserable and perhaps worse than ever, maybe I just don't understand and feel it because I've become slow and numb. The only positive thing that happened to me recently, is that I finally started losing weight and about 1/4 of the way back to my normal weight.
As for my future, am looking at several possibilities here. So far the parents are allowing my miserable life to continue and they let me live with them and buy me food. I don't need anything else right now. But it can't go on like this forever. The thought of having a mundane low-paying job in this shithole of a country depresses me. I will probably temporarily do English tutoring if there's demand for such work. My old school friends want me to help them in their business and my dad wants me to help him in his, I and probably should, but I feel useless, pathetic and incapable of doing anything of value. And business just seems boring, difficult and too stressful for me right now. Just not my cup of tea.
I am also looking at creative work. I love video games, music, films and other forms of art. I love the games most though, so I am looking into game dev. I don't really like programming, I have learned some during school years, but the pay would probably be higher for a programmer than an creator of any kind of art. However, I think I would enjoy art creation much more, but I don't have any experience in drawing and only some limited experience in music production. And I am not one of these kids who always had a scrapbook with them at school. Having to make another life choice paralyzes me. I am leaning towards art. I don't feel confident in my ability to learn this skill from scratch, but I think it's my best shot at finding a job that would make me happy.
So perhaps, when this whole pandemic is over, I'll go to Europe and get my degree, get a job there and stay. American Dream is dead to me, and Europe is cheaper, closer, safe and comfortable. Just the thing for a person who feels like they are thrice their real age.
Outro.
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. Special thanks if you read the whole thing, it means a whole lot to me, an internet stranger. But even if no one reads it, feels good to get this off my chest. I actually cried during writing some parts. Holy shit, this might be the longest and smartest looking thing my dumbed down head could manage to generate since college. I hope that you're having a great day. Stay healthy and be careful during this fucking pandemic. All the best.
submitted by OberV0lt to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]

Why traditional exchanges will not convert to OMG and why it doesn't matter

Something that keeps coming up is the idea that OMG will grab a slice of forex and crypto trading. In this rather excellent post Civilian- suggests that OMG might grab a slice of the daily 3 trillion forex trade and the yearly 10 trillion Crypto Exchange Trade.
This type of speculation has been further stoked by the news that MUFG (a partner of Omise) is planning to build an exchange and maybe they will build it on OMG...
I’ve promised a few folks here on the omise_go subreddit that I would explain why that is highly unlikely to happen as expected... and also to explain why that does not matter.
As you read through this, you may get a little disheartened, but don’t, because I’ve got some great news at the end that makes up for the debbie downer stuff at the start.
HFT
The first important point to note is that most exchange liquidity is created by high frequency trading HFT.
These HFT bots are always running. They make trades every second. With each trade they try to gain just a fraction of a percentage point and as a result they usually make large trades to make money on those very small gains.
This means that just about any time a regular day trader wants to make a trade it is instantly snapped up. Which is great for day traders! There are many HFT companies that are market makers and collectively give electronic marketplaces huge amounts of liquidity.
The world of HFT is conducted in milliseconds.
Trades MUST be able to execute within the shortest time possible (sub 1 second end-to-end). It is, after all, computer against computer. This is why many HFT companies pay huge amounts of money to get the fastest possible connection to an exchange.
In many cases they even get an office right next to the exchange and wire a fiber through the wall, directly to the exchange’s network, to try to get a competitive advantage.
So, to recap, HFT traders are market makers, they create the liquidity that makes it very convenient for other traders to be on the system.
Confirmations
For a transaction to complete on a DEX like OMG, it must be confirmed by multiple nodes. Each node will be at a different location in the world. We don’t know how distributed nodes will be geographically, but, presumably there will be enough distance to help add security to the network. Perhaps different cities, different countries, or, at the very least different regions of the same city.
You can imagine how a network like that could not work very well for HFT... based on the simple constraint of the speed of light!
In the traditional model the HFT firms buy a single direct connection to a centralized exchange with a ping time of 10ms. When they place the trade no confirmations are required. So just one wire and one api endpoint and a few milliseconds.
If they try to make that same trade on a DEX the trade would require multiple nodes to be discovered and confirm the transaction with each node incurring it’s own 100ms? 200ms? network latency. It seems almost impossible to imagine a system like that enabling sub second trades end-to-end.
Reason #1
So, DEX confimrtatons and network latencey is reason #1 why it is very unlikely any traditional exchange would move to run on the OMG network.
After all, they would jeopardize their relationship with HFT traders and the fees they bring. They would also jeopardize the liquidity that their other customers rely on so much.
You may say, but wait, the OMG DEX will give them the liquidity they need, but that is a moot point because a) for them it will be unproven and b) they will not want to lose the huge amount of revenue they make from HFT to another exchange that didn’t switch.
Keep in mind the bulk of the 3 trillion daily trading is created by these types of exchanges.
Exchange Architecture
I’m not sure if this is common knowledge, but running an exchange can be disgustingly lucrative. The per trade cost is basically zero. This is due to the core architecture of an exchange.
Essentially, when fiat or crypto is deposited into an exchange, it goes into a large global wallet that the exchange owns. Then a number of that same amount is assigned to a customer record.
From that point forward all the “trading” is simply swapping numbers in a database. There is no actual money, or value, of any kind swapping hands per trade. The money remains in the large global wallet and is not touched.
For example, at its most basic, the database code it takes to make a single trade might look something like this:
UPDATE customers SET USDT = USDT - 25 WHERE customer_id = 1; UPDATE customers SET OMG = OMG + 1 WHERE customer_id = 1; 
Those two simple SQL statements tell a database to subtract 25 and add 1 to a customer record. In this case the record says USDT and OMG but don’t let that fool you, it’s not really USDT or OMG it’s just database columns, with convenient names.
Additionally, for every trade something like this happens:
UPDATE customers SET USDT = USDT - (25 * 0.0025) WHERE customer_id = 1; UPDATE exchange_profits SET USDT = USDT + (25 * 0.0025); 
THAT is the exchange taking a 0.25% fee per trade. For example, yesterday bittrex (the 7th busiest crypto exchange) did a total volume of $1,027,873,751. We can calculate how much they made by doing this:
VOLUME * 1.0025 = TOTAL VOLUME - TOTAL = PROFIT 
So, from their 0.25% Bittrex made $2,569,684 yesterday.
Ignoring the fact that a DEX is not fast enough for HFT trading, let’s imagine that bittrex did decide to run on the OMG network.
In this case Bittrex could use the OMG infrastructure and add a surcharge on top of every trade.
Let’s imagine a best case scenario that OMG trades cost 0.1% per trade and that Bittrex could then add 0.15% on top.
This means that Bittrex would be losing $1,027,8737 per day vs what they could be making by running their own infrastructure.
Reason #2
I hope you can see there is no “infrastructure savings” that OMG could bring that could offset the level of profit exchanges make. With the amount of money that exchanges make they can easily hire developers to fix any scaling issues or other technical problems that they may have.
All that is to say, loss of profits is reason #2 why it is very unlikely that any existing exchange would switch to run on the OMG network.
This is also why it is highly unlikely a traditional bank like MUFG would build a new exchange on the OMG network. Why would they? When they can literally make billions of dollars of extra profit by running it on their own infrastructure!
Disruption Patterns
So, right about now, you’re probably feeling depressed because it feels like we just lost trillions and trillions of earning potential from our beloved OMG :(
Well, let’s talk about why that doesn’t matter by looking at patterns of disruption...
Many people think Uber makes all it’s money by replacing Taxis. Wrong! They made it so easy, cheap and addictive to use on-demand transportat that customers use Uber in ways that they never used Taxis.
For example, before Uber came along I personally used Taxis about one time a year but now I use Uber about 4 times a week!
Uber created a completely new market. Very few people ever used Taxis 4 times a week but, now, lots of people use Uber 4 times a week. This equates to a staggering amount of new money that has nothing to do with “replacing” Taxis.
The same pattern can be seen with Slack.
Before Slack came along there were plenty of competitors doing what Slack did. Sure Slack took some of that business away, but the real money they made was by bringing in hundreds of thousands of new companies who had never used a product like that.
They just made Slack so easy to get started with and then so easy to continue to use. Even my mum uses slack!
The same can be said for Google. Google literally brought a whole new set of people to the internet because it made it easy to find stuff.
OMG Disruptions
It’s a little bit difficult to see where or how disruption might play out.
For example, Microsoft always had the lofty goal of everyone getting a computer. But, it was actually the iPhone that ended up being the reason (and disruption) that caused everyone to get a computer.
For this reason it’s hard to predict specifically where OMG might take us and what new markets will come to exist because of it.
That said, one thing that a lot of disruptions to have in common is that they make something easier and/or cheaper. So, perhaps if we explore what OMG makes easier and cheaper, we might get some ideas of new markets it could create.
Easier for Developers
In the same way that etherium makes it easy to create new alt-coins and as a result we have LOTS of alt-coins now. The OMG network and SDK will make it easier to build... exchanges… like Bittrex!
Now, don’t get mad at me.
I know I just convinced you that exchanges won’t be run on OMG... but I was talking about existing exchanges not new ones created by indie developers.
OMG makes it wayyy easier for a solo indie developers to build something like an exchange because all they need to do is build the front end and plug it into OMG.
It would not be useful for HFT traders. It would not rake in the kind of profits that Bittrex does. It may even only make $1.99 in the app store. But, that is still worth it to an indie developer!
In this way, hundreds, or perhaps even thousands, of new exchange style apps will be created that run on the OMG network.
There are many reasons that a consumer might use an app like this vs Bittrex. For example, if exchange fees were 0.1%. Or if the app had automation built in. Or perhaps the app had a UI that was much more pleasing to use.
In the same way that Uber created a whole new type of transportation customer, these new apps might create a new type of crypto and forex trader.
Of course, it will not just be exchange apps that OMG makes easier for developers, but since that is what we are talking about, that is why I mentioned it.
Other things that will be easier will be cross border payments, cross cilo payments (paypal -> venmo), cross currency payments, in game payments, etc.
Each new type of “easiness” that is passed on to developers will end up spawning a new set of apps and markets.
Easier for Consumers
The simple fact of being able to easily move money around will create thousands of possibilities. Far to many to mention here.
Cheaper for Consumers
Nothing is better than cheaper AND easier. With OMG we get a lot of that. Also, too many possibilities to mention here.
Perhaps that should be another post...
Conclusion
HODL
submitted by jv2222 to omise_go [link] [comments]

A long story and lesson about trusting people and managing expectations

So I'm not sure I'd you guys will enjoy this story or if it will just be removed but I currently need to vent because well this happened. And I've lost alot of faith in people. If you don't feel like reading the whole thing I tried to put a TL;DR in each paragraph.
Trading- So to kindof preface the story, I am a young guy that is very interested in all things finance such as investing/trading. Because of this I got involved into the Foreign Exchange market(Forex) at the beginning of 2016 and I got very lucky going from $200 to ~$15,000 in 6 months and then unluckily went from ~$15,000 to $0 in less than a minute. So while I was trading this I still worked my normal job(military) and at this job people knew I was trading and doing quite well, they'd frequently ask where I'm at with my trading. So when I lost everything I still thought I will trade again but I'll wait until the new year of 2017. -TL;DR- 2016- Young, like finance, made alot of money, lost all of it and plan to try again.
First half of 2017- So during my trading in 2016 I had offered to alot of people at work that I would teach them or show them how to trade. At the time I really just wanted to have someone at work to talk about trading because all I really had was Reddit for Forex talk. So in 2017 I start up again and one of the Civilians I work with decides he wants to join me in trading (most military jobs have civilian slots where they do basically the same thing but get paid 2-3x more, in this case retired mil now civilian). So I help him get setup very excitedly because I finally have someone to talk about trading with he also says he will put in ~$200 to start with as well. So I think oh awesome I can teach you better since our accounts will be the same, so I trade by myself talking to let's call him Civ about trading consistently for about 3-4 weeks. One day suddenly Civ says "hey I put money into my account what are we trading today?" So obviously I'm like "awesome today I'm gonna trade this pair and I think it's a good setup" Civ says OK I put a trade in. So I go about my day and I don't see him until around the end of the day and our trade did go well, I had made about $45 on my at the time $130 account so I'm pretty happy at this point. So I see Civ and he's like super happy and this was our conversation Civ- "wow that was a good trade man" Me-"Yeah pretty good return for a day" Civ- "So how much did you make today?" Me- "I made $45 so like 40ish% pretty sweet" Civ- "man I made a little over $70,000" yes that is $70,000 Me- "....What the fuck? But how?" Civ- "well I kindof put in close to $75,000!" Me- "but even if you scaled up how did you make almost 100%?" Civ- "well I kindof just put in a trade as if I had $200,000 in the account, and then I did another one" So at this point I'm just completely blown away that he just made double what I make in a year in under 8 hours, but after the complete shock and awe wears off I'm legitimately happy for him because I helped in the trade but it definitely made my $45 feel like nothing.
So to speed this story up what I just said above actually happens about 3 more times to the point where he makes over $140,000 thanks to the trades that I let him know about. But eventually I start to seriously resent him cause his true character starts to show in a series of events. First he starts to claim the trades were all his idea never even giving me credit, second he never even thanks me for helping him make 4 times as much as I get a year. Third he Basicly tries to rub it in my face a few times throughout this mess saying things like "you should put more money in so you can make more" or "just put half you paycheck in" which is pretty much impossible considering I'm a young E3 at the time and I don't have just money to blow. And fourth he tries to throw me under the bus multiple times for things I didn't do at work. Now here comes in Dirtbags 1 and 2 these two are the worst enlisted personnel I've ever seen but are basically protected by Civ he always stands up for them to higher ups and keeps them from getting in trouble by blaming others for there mistakes and they know this(They will be important later on). There is alot of icing on the cake as far as these 3 but I'm not gonna make this story any longer than it has to be. TL;DR- Help Civ make shitloads of money, Civ shits on me and starts a Sortof witch hunt after me, no longer trade with Civ.
Civ in a nutshell- now this Summary of who Civ is isn't really important to the story(skip if ud like) but I felt a need to explain this guy so that people have an understanding of who I'm dealing with. Civ is Basicly a true narcissist he encompasses every meaning of the word. At work he chooses favourites and actively tries to ruin the careers of everyone that isn't his favourite and he's one of those people that laughs about everything he says, he does this so that he can decide based on your reaction if he wants it to be a joke or be serious since every "joke" is in a somewhat demeaning tone. He knows nothing about saving or investing in fact he actually gambles everyday via online poker or fantasy football, during football season hes openly said he gambles over $500 a day since he "wins quite frequently". He's a 45 year old man with a family and kids but he expects invites too all the house parties that people at work have and if he doesn't he has a legitimate hissy fit where I've seen him actually curse people out about how he will no longer invite anyone else to do anything with him(he doesn't do anything tho). He tries to be the guy at work thats "just so cool you gotta be friends with him" but there's a few of us who see straight through his lies and BS. TL;DR- Civ=Narcissistic man child with a gambling problem.
Second half of 2017- So I no longer really talk to Civ we talk work related stuff here and there at this point I know he's very two faced and selfish so I avoid him because I can see straight through it. In around July we have a conversation about the up and coming Crypto currencies I tell him I don't really have any idea how to judge if they will keep going up or not. Supposedly Civ buys 0.30-0.40 a Bitcoin(BTC) not sure the price he got it at. Around this time he was pestering me for trades everyday which at this point I'd lost what I put in so I was no longer trading. But when I'd tell him that he took it personally kindof as if I owe him more trades(wtf right?) So I just basically ignore his asshole tones and go about my day. Around this time Civ gets out of Forex he tells me he withdrew over $240,000. Also tells me he never told his wife he made anything and that she thinks he only has like $2,000 in the account(more signs of a gambling addiction).
FAST FORWARD to about 2-3 weeks ago- At this point I really don't care about Civ being ungrateful of all the money I've made him and in my life im getting hardcore into crypto currencies. I see BTC hit an insane high of over $18,000 and I see Civ the next day and ask about the BTC he bought he says he's still got it not paying attention to BTC at all tho so I tell him about it and how it could be a time to get out and get into something else so he says OK and that he will look into it. Next day Civ says hey I got out what should I do with it I want to keep it in Crypto, so I tell him about Litecoin and how it's cheaper and promising so he buys 55 Litecoin. (Why am I still helping this guy right? I have no idea)
FAST FORWARD to this week- Litecoin explodes to $335 a coin when Civ got in at $90 a coin so he makes about $18,000. I'm pretty happy for him because I called another good investment even tho my little $350 crypto account hardly moved, at this point I don't expect anything from Civ because I expect he's still two faced. This time I actually show him the Litecoin price at work and he's super happy and actually thanks me so I'm like wow that's surprising. But then proceeds to tell co-worker's that he did this on his own (of course). Civ then asks me what he should do now. So at this point I just think well whatever I'm used to this and I'm never getting anything out of this so what's one last investment that I give him gonna hurt right? So I tell Civ about other altcoins on Binance.com and how he needs to get a Binance account to get to them instead of his Currently Coinbase account so he is like okay cool.
NOW IT GETS FUCKING INTERESTING- so I tell Civ to get a Binance account and what Coins could be big here soon and he says he will make an account. Remember that Binance has a referral system going on and so I look into it and see that Binance would give me 50% OF WHAT HE DEPOSITS AS A REFERRAL REWARD AND IM FINALLY GONNA GET SOME SORT OF REWARD FOR ALL THE MONEY I'VE HELPED HIM MAKE AND IT WON'T COST HIM ANYTHING. It hits me like a freight train that if he uses my referral code I can get potentially $8,000 into my little coin account. I start to get excited BUT then remember who I'm dealing with so first I sent him my referral code and he says "cool no problem" then I start to think shit what if he forgets to put the code in so I text him again but this time IFU by saying
"Hey if you have any questions let me know just don't forget to put in my Referral code cause I get free BTC lol" .....TIFU by showing a narcissist how to fuck someone over....AGAIN.
So on the Binance referral page it shows you the first few letters of the person's email that used the referral and how much commission you have made from said person. Civ says he's going to make an account on Binance that night I say OK cool. That night my referral page gets one attached email that doesn't have letters I'm expecting so I'm kindof confused then I remember Civ is a 45 year old Neckbeard gamer so he likely had a wierd email address. No big deal, I see Civ next day at work and ask him how his account setup went (usually takes a few days) he says great and that DIRTBAG #2 also wants to get into crypto so he gave DB2 my referral code.
.... Wait a minute the email attached to my account was actually DB2s because the first letters are his Initials of his name no doubt about it. But I don't think this is wierd at the time I carry on through out my week.
UNTIL TODAY(Yes an actual TIFU) I see Civ at work (this is three days after he was supposed to setup his account and it still hasn't popped up on my referral list) and he says "I'm actually gonna not put money in to anything without doing research" this to me is wierd because for the last year he's made over $155,000 by literally doing no research and just listening to me. So I say cool whatever good idea. Meanwhile I'm also weirded out by how DB2 has not talked to me about crypto at all since using my referral code and he's been in this extremely happy mood lately so I'm like wtf is going on? Since I had taught DB2 Forex less than a year ago and he had the IQ of a house fly this strikes me as extremely odd compared to when I taught him last he wouldn't stop asking questions.
BUT THEN IT HIT ME today when I got home I checked my referrals again because I was still pretty excited for $8,000 and how much it will help me and my wife with Christmas this year and then seeing that he hasn't popped up on the referral list it dawned on me.
When I exposed that I would get free BTC to Civ he took it upon himself to have DB2 create an account on Binance and use my referral code so that I would think this was Civ meanwhile Civ put in DB2s referral code giving DB2 $8,000 and then he proceeds to lie to me. Going into investigative mode after calming down from an absolute rage I text DB2 knowing he literally knows Zero about crypto and my hypothesis being very very plausible I go to the weakest link directly and that's the low IQ DB2 and I start to talk to him about crypto first he says he has a Binance account with a bit of coins so I ask him what's next and he tells me he needs to get a coinbase account...... Which is Basicly the only way to put money into crypto so I ask him how he put money in before if he wasn't using coinbase and he says "I think it was Coinable.com" So I continue the conversation about crypto trying to get more of a clue of what Coins he owns he of course lists the exact list I gave Civ earlier that week . At this point I'm about 98% sure my hypothesis is correct and that I work with two of the most narcissistic people I've ever met. BUT THEN I get confirmation in the form of DB2 Being so clueless about crypto because he explains that he has "about 0.23 of BTC" which is roughly $4,000 which I know DB2 Does not have due to the fact that he recently totaled his 4th car this year.
So Civ had DB2 create an account on Binance in order to give DB2 $8,000 in free money and to avoid giving me a single dime even tho I'm the one that's helped him make over $155,000 this year and then continues to lie to me thinking that I'm to stupid to figure this out. This is the single most fucked up thing I've ever personally seen happen to someone, and of course that someone is myself.
Also to clarify the $8,000 does not come out of Civs pocket it comes out of Binances pocket as a thank you to getting people on their site so literally wouldn't cost Civ a dime.
TL;DR(FULL) I help a narcissistic piece of shit make over $155,000 in a year and he avoids giving me anything in return at all at all costs.
Now myself personally I made the mistake of putting myself in Civs shoes, you have a 21 year old guy at work that helps you make over a years salary and so I thought oh I'd totally being super appreciative and buy him lunch or maybe dgive him less than 1% of what he just earned you but this is where I really fucked up. In starting to put myself in his shoes I started to just completely resent Civ and everything about him because I started to feel like I deserve something. In the Forex community there are people who will trade your money for you or give you signals and those people can make lots of money either % returns of each trade or $ amounts for each signal. Looking back I shouldof come up with a Sortof contract after that first trade with Civ but at the time I didn't know what kindof person he really was.
I'm posting it here because it's kindof a lesson I've now learned on not to trust people to be decent to you in return when it comes to investing/trading I've learned that as you guys have probably seen or know about how certain people get extremely inflated ego when it comes to trading/investing. And if your ever in a situation where you could make someone alot of money just do yourself a favour and draft a small document of how that person should give you about 10% of what they make. That alone should tell you what you need to know about the person is how they react to signing a contract like that. Take it from a practically broke Enlisted member who just made a well off guy way more cushioned.
submitted by A_Harsh_Euphemism to investing [link] [comments]

Dear Redditors, Please read to avoid my mistakes

Hi there,
Please don't be discouraged about me being a new account. I am a reader, its just in my nature to not really post anything, i tend to just lurk around. And looking at other threads/posts I know how you guys don't really take new accounts serious.
Im a 24 year old sinology bachelor, currently studying for one year in Kunming, China at the Yunnan Normal University. My story with bitcoins began like 7 years or so ago when my father showed me an article about bitcoins. quite new back then. He though it was worth getting interested in the technology but back then I didnt really have anything to invest, not did i really care that much for investment(lifes good when you have nothing but games on your mind)
I finally wanted to get into bitcoins around 4 years ago, i think it was the time when one bitcoin was around 800 dollars. I wanted to invest the money I had saved up over the years, i didnt really travel, had no real expenses just earned some money here and there in online games, especially Entropia Universe(which was kinda a virtual casino back in the good days, had a lot of luck too :)) I had just began my Chinese studies in Poland. At first my investment was a complete horror, i couldnt focus, couldnt do anything really but to check the bitcoin prices. But the price kept going up, which did make me happy, up untill 1200... when it crashed. I did panic sell as soon as I realized what had happened, did make a small loss, but looking further i did the right thing as bitcoin had crashed to 200 dollars, couldve been much worse. I had lost confidence in bitcoin, despite having read a ton about it all i really wanted was some inner peace, as it was nerve wrecking. 2 years later I once again decided to get into bitcoins, the price was at around 400 dollars, still cheaper than at what I had bought it at first. However, I used the polish exchange bitcurex. I had invested around 20000 polish zloty, which at that time was around 6600 dollars i believe. I never sent the bitcoins to a wallet because in the back of my head kept lurking the situation from 2 years before, that i might be forced to panic sell to avoid huge losses. That was a mistake the exchange shut down, along with my investment. As you can probably imagine, it took me a long time to get over the fact. I did my best to totally avoid anything bitcoin related, begged others to never mention them to me again.
I did get over it... untill it exploded. The prices After the news of Japan legalizing it just kept going up, it became ridiculous, i wanted to get back in but in the back of my head kept lurking the crash from 2014, mentally disabling me. Guess how I felt constantly calculating what i could have had, basically allowing me to live my life without any financial worries. Every day it just destroyed me. I became obsessed with the bitcoin price, hating myself for not doing anything. I didn't really save up much more since the time of the bitcurex shut down but I did have an euro savings account which my grandmother set up for an emergency. There was around 4000 euro on it, it took me a while but seeing as the price surged upwards i just figured it might be better invested in bitcoins, of course knowing that IF something happens im sure I could figure a way to get the money back. This time i chose bitmarket.pl also a polish exchange accepting euros, also easy to get into, you can transfer money into the exchange after verifying with your passport. I did of course read a lot about the exchange making sure it wont let me down like bitcurex. The fear of the crash in the back of my head got weak as i justified the price rise to japans legalization and didnt really think that a crash could happen. I was convinced it would keep going up not down. And it did go up, again I couldnt focus on absolutely anything but the bitcoin price, totally obsessed with graphs, every news and so on. After a few stressfull days, i kept getting calmer as i already was having a profit. But, the price crashed again, and again i sold, again with a loss. Well, discouraged again, i hated myself for trusting bitcoins, and i hated bitcoins, mainly because of the mass of nerve wrecking pain they gave me, feeling it everywhere, from head to toe, nerves going haywire.
Anyways, the last part, bear with me, this is where the shit hits the fan. Since the first crash after japan i took a break, again. I didnt think the stress was worth any amount of money, seriously, it destroyed me and consumed me. I did not withdraw the money from the exchange as i wanted to wait for the crash to settle and maybe buy back in. Although I was ready to withdraw right away really, i kept holding... cash :p. It didnt seem right to withdraw less than I invested. I became obsessed with graphs, with bitcoin news. Staring at the damn things for hours, checking them as soon as i remember. They were there, in the back of my head.... all the time. i figured it wasnt worth it, i knew how much it would consume me if i had money invested and I had just a few months to finally get my bachelors degree. I observed the market over the next months, hurting inside for not doing anything, but i was happy without the stress these things gave me over the years, maybe it was meant to be. But... end of october i came across the news about yet another hard fork, the mid november fork. It seemed obvious to me that the price would go up so I once again, one month ago, decided to finally just go for it again. This time using a feature of the exchange, the forex. I called all my friends and family and scraped together around 21k polish zloty. For that I bought my bitcoins at around 23.5. I used the exchange for a loan so in total i had 150k invested. It went well, thankfully, and as soon as i heard of the fork cancelling i decided to sell and be done with it. It was a success, I was happy for making some money, happy i could share with friends and family. Feeling i god damn deserved a reward for all the stress and time invested in this. Finally feeling a sense of accomplishment.
However, my current studies in China suffered majorly, again... couldnt really focus on these damn chinese characters. Its nowhere near as much as it could have been with the funds lost to bitcurex, hell i probably could also show off with a tesla right now(which i most definitely would not have, i had other plans, moving to new zealand) I was done there and then, but i kept looking at the graphs, seeing the crash, then the huge rise, then the news and this super legends prediction of 15k by the end of this year. After 10k people stopped believing in a crash, even here on the reddit forums.. I decided to go for it again, i waited a long time though, the bitcoin price was at 9800 dollars when i decided to buy in again. It hurt, considering i could have done it earlier, but i was so stressed out i needed the rest, even if it meant not making money. But the guilt of not acting got to me. Trying to make up for lost time and having imagined the possibilities what could be achieved with a bigger amount of money i invested everything i earned from the previous gains. I again set up the forex, investing a total of 300k. It didnt seem real to me that any real crash on the polish exchange could happen. By the time finex reached 10500 the polish exchange was still like 3k polish zloty behind, which did seem like a lot. It was even more for the japanese, which was over 5k ahead. It seemed like a good time to go in. So I did, this time confident, after the polish exchange price went from 35k to 39k i didnt really think it could affect my loans. Then I saw the crash happening, the huge red candle. like 4000 bitcoins sold on finex in just a minute. I saw it from minute 1, being obsessed with graphs Ive been staring at them most of the time for the past weeks, ... huge candle, still time to sell on the polish exchange... and then my VPN disconnected (Nord VPN), all i managed to sell was one forex order before the disconnect, it didnt take long for it to reconnect but it was too late, the polish exchange went nuts, absolutely nuts, the price dropped from 39k to 31k in less than 5 minutes, it was so clogged that I barely could refresh the site. What does that mean for me? Well, all my loans got cancelled, within 5 minutes, i went from almost 2 bitcoins to 0, Yeah 5 minutes was all it took for the exchange to lose 1/4 of the price HOW?? it was still at least 5k behind japan and 3k behing america WHY?? And all I really needed for the exchange was to drop 2k less, it all just seemed wrong, so wrong. The exchange is also offline as I write this.
This is a screenshot which i send to my cousin, who also is my best friend shortly before the crash asking if I should sell, http://i68.tinypic.com/28saers.png
what might sound unbelievable, his sister was giving birth, today, so he wasnt here for the crash, nor could he have given me advice, but he was there for the birth of the baby. Its all good though we wanted to put half of the earned bitcoins into an account for the new child, it was my idea too. So the day aint all that bad right? right? Maybe it was all equivalent exchange, I had to lose for it to gain, the price had to be paid? Gotta get these excuses rolling to justify what happened. Here is my conversation with my cousin, i sent him the pic of my bitcoins at basically the same time he told me his sister is giving birth. All just a few minutes before the crash. Its in polish though, if you understand it :p
Now the fun part, i felt relieved, so relieved you cant imagine, these bitcoins consumed my live for the past years, consumed my thoughts, hell i had dates i cancelled because i saw market instability... I felt relieved that there is no way back, so relieved and free from this addiction, unfortunately that feeling didnt last... In the end bitcoins kicked me in the nuts, well, maybe I did myself, maybe the panic sellers on the polish exchange did, maybe the exchange itself manipulated fools like me, hell, i dont really want to think about it anymore, i want my peace of mind, but it aint that easy, not with having lost all my money. I did have plans, but these dont matter anymore, what matters is the money I have promised to others, I do want to pay them back I just think its not fair, not considering how much time, how much stress i invested into them. This cannot be, at least for now I cant comprehend what just happened.
I hope I didnt write too much, it does help though. I just feel i needed to get this out there To all the new guys, loans on exchanges are a dangerous thing, my friend not so long ago lost a ton of money by using them betting on oil prices, should have listened, all it took him was one night to lose all his too. I guess you should listen to the majority and just HODL what you have and be happy with it, and definitely dont waste your nerves like I did, looking back now... I dont know... it seems kinda ridiculous. Oh and the baby, yep, all healthy and ugly.
If you can and believe me, feel free to, if not, good luck either way. I do not plan to continue trading like a did, i just want to lose the sense of extreme loss, its devastating. Its actually 4am here in China, started writing this because I cant really sleep, and probably wont for the night.
12A3qkh9ykjqwkvUPSY32zaERx75dzbZCG
submitted by willithesm to BitcoinBeginners [link] [comments]

How to stop being so obsessed with becoming successful and rich?

AskReddit How can I stop obsessing over success ? u/tgpop Hey guys, long story short, i'm a 23 year old male, and have had a whole host of anxiety issues (OCD, general anxiety, some mild depression thrown in there too for good measure).
I've been to therapy, am on meds (beta blockers to treat the physical symptoms of anxiety; some prozac to control the cognitive side of things) and yet, most of the time, I have a chronic state of tension and stress, and I believe it's due to early teen experiences.
I'll not go into too much detail, because If I do people will only pick apart what I'm saying. Basically when I was 14 I got very,very unhealthily addicted to stock trading/forex trading. Spent thousands of hours refining a method, and at one point when I was 18 was offered some money to trade. I turned that opportunity down because I felt way out of my depth and was burned out from forex and stock trading (for anyone involved in the markets, i'm sure you get what I mean, even as a swing trader it is impossible to fully switch off).
I guess ever since I give that opportunity up, I have always hated myself and the sense of regret is overwhelming. Every time I try and dabble back into the markets, I end up doing ok and all of a sudden (like now) , I just get absorbed totally by it again, and it's constantly on my mind.
So what have I done, aside from trading in the meantime? After I quit trading at 18,I actually had to take a year off before heading to university to build some confidence in myself.
Of course, I don't deny that brain chemistry plays a role here as well. Starting that year out at 18 I was suicidal and seriously burned out. I had stress-induced hair loss, insomnia etc. I was diagnosed with OCD and general anxiety at the time. No matter what self help book or therapist I went to said, I couldn't shake the anxiety or stress. What amazed me was that during that year out, I actually took a job in a busy subway store. And I freakin' loved it. worked 100+ hour weeks for months on end, became the stores youngest manager, learned the ins and outs of the fast food business. Didn't even care that it was minimum wage, it was just so satisfying to be an ace at something, no matter how 'petty' a subway store may seem.
I then went to university, focused on getting good grades, and told myself not to look at trading ever again. I came out with the top marks in my university year three years in a row, and landed a training contract with a big 4 accounting firm after not screwing up on a summer internship.
That's basically where I am now. I'm really enjoying accounting. But , still ongoing, is this pressure to succeed at business, trading,investing or something along those lines. I just can't shake this off, and whilst I know I do enjoy accounting, I really can't help lose this sense of self hatred and materialism.
I'm certain that my brain chemistry plays a massive role. And logically speaking, I would objectively say someone with my personality is probably suited to a stable, rewarding career with constant stimulation and challenging tasks. Despite that, it's just something I can't switch off, I literally cannot stop thinking about markets, trading, stocks, investing. Worse still, any time I do 'get back in' to it, I am completely in the zone, infatuated with the whole experience of trading.
I am just really confused to be honest. My OCD makes it very difficult to make decisions or come to conclusion on issues like this. On one hand, I can't keep myself in check or obsessing about markets when I do dabble in them. On the other hand, no matter how rewarding some other pursuit it, I am always trying to 'fill a hole' in one area or another. Heading into accounting? cool, let's make partner in 15 years. At the gym? Right, lets get super ripped and start a successful fitness business. Like working at subway? save up all your money and start a franchise-business.
I would really appreciate any help here. I just feel like a sack of shit if i'm not achieving something 'great'. I can literally not relax. If i'm not doing something productive I am stressed and down. I do not want to end up twice divorced and a depressed alcoholic at 40.
submitted by tgpop to Advice [link] [comments]

I[23F] am concerned that my [27M] boyfriend of 8 years has a video game addiction

I've been with my boyfriend since I was 15 years old, we met online through a video game and fell in love, met in person a year later and have been inseparable ever since. We have a freakishly good relationship most of the time - we are 100% open and honest with each other, have no secrets, are very physically and verbally affectionate and even after 8 years everyone who meets us assumes we're a 'new couple' because we're always cuddling and holding hands in public.
But the entirety of our relationship there has been one single huge point of contention between us: video games. I myself have always been a huge gamer, I've played them (a lot of them!) since I was young and continue to play to this day. I met my boyfriend while I was playing one and I've introduced him to lots of games over the years (which I've come to regret).
At first I was happy to be in a relationship with a fellow gamer, because it's an extra bonding experience you can share. We have tried lots of games together and often have fun.
But video games have always been a 'vice' for me - something I do to have fun, but also something I don't consider a 'good use of time'. I often feel guilty for playing a video game for more than a few hours or more than a few days in a row.
Conversely, my boyfriend LOVES video games and they are his only hobby. He would play them from the moment he woke up to the moment he went to sleep if he could (as in, if I weren't around).
I'm a writer and an artist and interested in all kinds of things in life. I'm big on spiritual growth and reflecting on life and trying to make the world a better place. I get very uncomfortable when people (including myself) spend a lot of time doing things like watching TV and playing games and don't balance that out with a more productive hobby as well, so it's been an issue between us.
For the last eight years, my boyfriend has been playing video games almost every day, for hours. For 6 and a half of those years he didn't have a 'normal' job, and for 4 of those years his job was playing video games professionally (he made money from winning game tournaments and sponsorships). He has no other hobbies at all. Except 'me'. That's what he has always told me. That I'm his 'main hobby'. I always told him that I was a person, not a hobby, and it shouldn't count, and that I had my own varied hobbies and he should have his, but it is what it is.
We have had so, so many fights over the years about him playing too many video games and not balancing it out with doing anything 'productive' (I consider productive things skills or talents that you, through time and work, improve at and carry with you through life, or things that make the world a better place). For over two years he had no job, no car and lived at my parent's house with me, playing video games all day every day. We got into lots of fights and nearly broke up. I gave him an ultimatum: "if you can't go without playing a game for an entire week, we're breaking up."
I really didn't think he could do it. And I'm sad for myself, and for him, that the idea of him not playing one game for a week would seem so outlandish and impossible.
He did do it, though, and for a while I was happy. I was so proud of him! A whole week without games! He dabbled in the Forex market and seemed like a whole new person. Without video games taking up all of his considerable intellect and attention, he was looking into other things to do with his time. Things that could have an effect in a positive way on his life, and even on mine.
Of course, it didn't last. A few weeks later he was back to gaming regularly, but I couldn't 'say anything', because he had done what I asked.
Skip forward a year. He got a job, a 'normal job', for the first time since I'd known him. I thought this would solve all our problems. For the first time he'd be 'doing something productive'! He could play all the video games he liked, because his days were spent being productive. Our agreement was that he would work (I had been working the previous six months) and I would be a housewife of sorts, so that I could be at home and focus on writing my novel.
It's been over a year now and things have disintegrated a bit. He was working full-time but recently cut back on his hours. He told me that he was doing it so that he could spend more time with me. Sure, money would be tight - really tight - but it would be worth it because we would get to spend time together.
But when he wakes up, he wants to play video games. If I tell him no, I want to hang out, he makes me feel like a bad guy. If I don't have any 'good ideas' for what we should do that moment, he tells me he doesn't want to wait around for me to think and starts playing a game (these games often take up to 50 minutes, which means I have to wait for an hour before I'm allowed to speak to him again - because I get yelled at if I try to talk to him while he's playing).
It's so hard to explain to you guys what my life is like right now. I love him and love spending time with him, with his attention on me. But when he wakes up, he wants to play games, not spend time with me. Often I can convince him to go the park or something with me (I love being outdoors and he doesn't) but it literally takes convincing. I feel like I have to write a speech on all the reasons he should hang out with me instead of play the game he plays every day for hours.
And then when he spends a precious three hours of his day off going out with me, he acts as if he 'put in his time' with me and wants to play games the rest of the time. If we're awake 16 hours a day, and you subtract 3 from the time we go out and 3 from the other hours I begged attention from him, that means he thinks that spending, let's say, 10 hours a day playing games is an acceptable girlfriend-hobby balance.
He is at work 8 hours a day 3-4 days a week and on those days he still plays hours and hours of games, so yes, I do enjoy spending time with him when I can. He doesn't seem to understand.
The past week I've been trying to communicate openly with him that I feel I have to compete with video games for his attention, and that I feel like I'm being a disruption by asking him to get off his computer and spend time with me. I've told him that every day but he always ignores me or starts yelling at me about some unrelated thing. I told him that we can talk about the things I do that bother him as well, but I'd like to discuss the subject I brought up first so that we can come up with a solution, but he won't have it.
Today I broke down into tears trying to tell him how I felt. I very rarely cry so it was a pretty big deal. He had to know how much this issue was effecting me when I was sitting there on the floor bawling my eyes out and trying to explain how hurt and worthless I feel that I have to fight a video game for my boyfriend's attention.
He literally didn't say a word to me. He ignored me, a foot away, while I sobbed loudly, just browsing his computer, and then when it was time for him to go to work he left without even saying goodbye. I bared every vulnerable feeling I had to him, which is difficult for me to do, something he knows, and he couldn't respect me enough to say a thing.
He works nightshift and gets home around midnight. I stay up til 1 or 2 and then go to bed, at which point he gets on his game and plays until 5-6am. This means he wakes up late, 12pm-1pm, and since he works at 5pm and he doesn't like to 'do things' right after he wakes up, we rarely get to do anything that takes less than an hour or two. I always feel rushed. It affects the way we live our lives.
I've been grappling with this video game issue for years. But he's never been so cold to me before. Recently we've been trying to have a baby and this whole thing has terrified me.
There's so many things I haven't said that I feel are relevant to the issue, but I've gone on so long, too long. I'm sorry. I just have no one I'm comfortable talking to about this issue and I feel so desperate. I know he would never admit he has a video game addiction but is it possible? I know he loves me more than any person in the world but he still persists with spending most of his time gaming, no matter how badly it hurts me. He won't speak of playing less.
I don't know what to do. I'm scared. I'm more than willing to admit I have my own problems, and I'm happy to try to address things on my end, but I just don't know how to start.
tl;dr:
my boyfriend has always played way too many video games, even from my perspective as a 'hardcore gamer', and lately i feel that my presence is an inconvenience to his game playing and that he resents me for it. i think he has an addiction because he won't admit there is a problem and it is negatively affecting our lives and my emotional well-being. please help me make our lives better for both of us.
submitted by isitanaddiction to relationships [link] [comments]

It's Not Just About Avoiding Porn And Posting Memes!

Hey Guys, just wanted to say a massive well done to everyone in this community whether you're on Day 0 or Day 365+. Being here and reading this post at this very moment means that you have taken a decision to improve your life. If nobody else has said this to you, I'm proud of you, well done.
One thing I've failed to see in the midst of all the posts about relapses, porn, urges, trannies, NoFap, monk mode, Gary Wilson and the list goes on, is actual self development. Which is exactly what NoFap and porn addiction recovery is. Maybe if you're here for casual use it doesn't apply to you but I'm yet to see a guy in this community who was looking for 'big booty Brazilian' and ended up in NoFap.
I wanted to make a post about resources for truly recovering from this severe issue we are all struggling with. Unfortunately, most of the resources are internet based and I know this is something a lot of people are trying to avoid, but, that doesn't mean you cant go to a library, workspace or coffee shop to enjoy them. Below this I will list some things you can use to develop yourself. It may be a bit long so feel free to skim through the headings to see if anything catches your eye.
Self Development & Self Actualization | Actualized.org :
Great Youtuber called Leo, owns a website called Actualized.org. Completely based around Self Development and becoming the highest version of yourself. I recommend starting with this video then exploring his page for others you may like. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGw8IoqBt-c
Home Learning Courses (Free & Paid) | http://www.oxfordhomestudy.com :
Oxford Home Study College has began to develop a variety of short and long courses for people looking to develop their skills in a variety of areas, FROM HOME! Their courses range from Fashion Design to Business Studies to Nutrition To Internet Marketing. So you can study so much things there. If you want to go through some of the free courses to find out what you want to do if PMO made you lost in life like a lot of us. Go to the website http://www.oxfordhomestudy.com and in the search bar type in 'short course'. You will then see a list of different, free courses that they offer. No excuse of being bored or under skilled now. I understand motivation may lack during NoFap due to flatline etc but at least read through something that interests you. It's better than binge watching on Netflix and eating unhealthily.
Exercise, Fitness, Health & Nutrition | https://www.youtube.com/usesixpackshortcuts :
If you want to improve your health drastically, get in great shape, improve confidence and be overall healthy then NoFap provides you with the energy to do that. I understand that a lot of guys may have never entered a gym in their life's due to preferring to stay home and fap. Getting a gym membership and testing out a few machines is easy but I recommend doing further research into nutrition, muscle groups, effective workouts and the full run down on what it will take to build that God like body that you can imagine for yourself. In that case I recommend visiting: https://www.youtube.com/usesixpackshortcuts I use this channel quite a bit myself for workout advice, the best workouts for certain muscles, the best foods to eat, workout and dietary timing and so on. They even focus heavily on intermittent and normal fasting which have been said to have a great impact on rebooting the brain quicker in the NoFap process. Check them out.
Baby Pips (Forex Trading) https://www.babypips.com :
This one is slightly more complex and I've only just started it myself to be honest. However, theres no harm in gaining additional skills. The greatest benefit of this one is the fact that you will be learning how to make money, FROM YOUR PHONE. Trading the financial markets is something regular guys only dream of doing even though they realise the great potential for wealth in doing it. BabyPips makes it possible to learn FOR FREE, FROM HOME and IN YOUR OWN TIME! If you've got no money, this could be a great way to start making some, once you know what you're doing of course. If you've actually got a bit of money to spare and willing to learn a new way of making money then this will be a great start. You never know, this could be that kick in the direction of financial independence you've been looking for.
Self Development Books:
If you're like me and prefer the physical version of things and not looking at a screen for hours on end every day then you will probably prefer reading real life books. My recommendations which I know will be beneficial for guys on NoFap especially include:
Think & Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill Outwitting The Devil - Napoleon Hill Rich Dad, Poor Dad - Robert Kiyosaki Talk To The Hand - Lynne Truss How To Win Friends & Influence People - Dale Carnegie The 4 Hour Work Week Millionaire Fast Lane 48 Laws Of Power Emotional Intelligence The Power Of Broke
Some of these are more interesting than others but I assure you each of these books will push you forward as a person on your journey of self development. Go check them out.
Photography, Videography & Cinematography https://www.youtube.com/usepetermckinnon24 :
This one is more specialist for someone who doesn't know what they want to do, I'm just throwing this idea in for you. This channel is run by a guy names Peter McKinnon who has proved to be a successful photographer and videographer, having his own exhibitions and almost 2 Million followers on his youtube channel. Why not try picking up a completely new skill, learning something that will make you a better person and then maybe earning some good money doing this one day?
If you think this may be for you, check out his youtube channel, maybe watch a couple of videos see if theres anything you like the sound of or anything that interests you. He does video editing as well and does tutorials of different effects you can learn. I think he even has a video of how to learn an editing software in 15-20 minutes so theres a wealth of knowledge that can be found on his youtube.
Guys it took me wayyyy longer to make this post than I had originally wanted. I had just never seen a post like this on this community or any other one. People will always say recovery is not about abstinence but instead, changing your life but then only give you life changing tips related to avoiding porn. I've tried to give you life changing tips that directly change your life.
Quick visualisation. Imagine the kind of person you'd be if you did everything on this list. Self actualised, worked out, learned to trade, read books, picked up a new creative skill, ate healthy and gained new qualifications. Now thats what I call a 180 turn in the right direction. Okay we fucked up watching porn and set ourselves back but the thing with life is that its not how you start, its how you finish. How will we finish? How will we finish this year, this month, this week? If relapsing is not in the cards for you then please pick up at least one of these, it will ease the pain and make you a better version of yourself. I do honestly wish you all the best guys and I recommend sharing this post with someone who may be struggling with lack of direction in their NoFap journey because there is a void we must face in our recovery. I'm currently taking a course in fashion design and absolutely loving it for the record. Love you all. Good luck!
submitted by wetherealrockstars to NoFap [link] [comments]

10 Strangest Addictions - Strange Things People Do - YouTube How to Trade Forex like the Banks: Secrets Revealed ... 10 THINGS DISCIPLINED TRADERS ALWAYS DO  FOREX LIFESTYLE ... What Do You REALLY Think About Forex Trading Losses? - YouTube HOW TO SET UP THINK OR SWIM FOR FOREX TRADERS - YouTube How to Start Trading Forex - YouTube 20$ Capital in Forex, do you think can gain using a Robot ... TOOLS NEEDED TO START TRADING FOREX IN 2020 - YouTube DO YOU THINK SOCIAL MEDIA IS AN ADDICTION (can you go a ... How to Open a Forex Trading Account  Getting Started on ...

Forex Psychology - Trading Can Be Addictive - Forex trading can become an addictive activity. Whereas an addiction to alcohol and other drugs are substance addictions, an addiction to trading is a process addiction and thus much more difficult to spot and overcome. There is a great deal of research in this area that has yet to be done but consider the following: You need to think of trading as a game of patience; the more patient you are the better you will do over the long-run. If you can learn to cultivate and harness the discipline and patience needed to succeed in Forex over the long-run, you will trade like a sniper instead of a machine gunner. Addiction to Forex trading has all the symptoms of alcohol or drug addiction. It is deceivingly easy. It is accessible. It does not require large amount of capital. It can be done anywhere on a smart phone. It gives immediate feedback. Alacoholic... This low capital requirement is perhaps the main reason for the addiction to forex trading. Think about it, have you ever heard of someone who got addicted to trading the stock market? Probably not, because it needs a lot of capital. Another reason for the addiction is its incredible ease of access. Once you have a trading account, you can place your trades from your computer, tablet or even s If you can't keep your emotions in check when trading, you will lose money. Lots of it. The most significant action that you can do to improve trading profits is to work on yourself. Really knowing yourself and how you think can give you an edge that others in the market don't have. My goal is to share practical advice to improve your forex ... Many people will do this as they are gambling. It’s just a more ‘advanced’ way to gamble if you don’t know what you are doing. I know many stories of people that were trading while loosing money. Why? Because you hear quotes like “SUCCESS IS WALKI... If you can't keep your emotions in check when trading, you will lose money. Lots of it. The most significant action that you can do to improve trading profits is to work on yourself. Really knowing yourself and how you think can give you an edge that others in the market don't have. My goal is to share practical advice to improve your forex ...

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10 Strangest Addictions - Strange Things People Do - YouTube

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